“Child, dis be strange!

Also just learned that Miss Cleo died in 2016. Lame.

CALMENOW FOR YER FREE REEDIN

That a next level strategy that only Bill would pull off

 I watched the game in fervent hope of Brady finally getting a comeuppance. It was fucking delicious.

Rural Alberta?
As an Albertan, I gotta admit the smart money’s on Fentanyl.

I would leave all of those things if I was just going out to shovel snow or something along those lines.

The announcers today were fucking awful. Anyone who makes you feel you have to defend Giselle is awful.

Annoyed that announcers at least twice got me all defensive about Giselle by referring to her as “Mrs Tom Brady.” Not a fan of her or Tom, but what the ever-lovin’ dismissiveness?

Really cementing my status as a prize asshole here.

Did Justin have bricks in his shoes? He could barely keep up with his backup dancers. That show was mediocre at best. I hope Janet is somewhere laughing her ass off at that show.

Also....

If they’re not boring, they’re annoying little grubs. I am a huge germaphobe and the idea of an incontinent, snotty, noisy, human petri-dish makes me nauseous. A few of my colleagues are new mothers, thankfully they know better than to ask me to hold their spawn.

The performative aspect of pregnancy in the social media age drives me insane. Motherhood, too. I have to admire the people who just suddenly show up with a months-old baby in a photo their friend posted like it’s no big deal.

Meanwhile I’m still scared about unplanned pregnancy and I’m 29.

It’s also repetitive. And also redundant.

Same :|

Who?

I couldn’t get past these two gems in the essay.