I stumbled across The Post article on her and thought I’d ended up on The Onion. I think it was written by an angry third-grader.

Try a restaurant supply store, Costco, or BJs.

I was part of the IRS hack in 2015. Every year they tell me everything is sorted out and I should be okay to e-file the following year, and every year they’re wrong.

Oh yes, so excited about tax day. My return was rejected for the billionth year in a row. So glad the IRS’ inability to prevent hacks will have me mailing them paper until the end of time!

The only time I’m ever disappointed with Colbert is when they cut too much from the breaks and you miss Jon’s vamping on the piano. That guy can play like a mother, and often all you hear are the dumb little clinkety-clonks he uses to punctuate Colbert’s punchlines.

If we aren’t writing it down, we’re probably not allowed to. No server has ever thought “I know, let’s make tonight’s shift harder just for shits and giggles.”

Nothing but room temperature beverages for me...yay sensitive teeth!

Hating ranch dressing is a rite of passage for servers.

I solved this problem by totaling the car and getting a higher one. Fuck you, Bambi. *sob*

Starred for “disease grenades”.

Everything is so strongly scented, you can’t get away from it. I struggle to find health and beauty products in general that don’t reek. I lurk on migraine coping sites for recommendations of minimally-scented products.

Kanye writing a philosophy book = Jack manically writing DEATH over and over on AP Bio.

I’m cringing for her. Watch out for melanoma, Britney!

She should hire every single Swift/Perry dancer, then sit back and watch the fireworks.

I’d last for ages; I could happily be silent for days. I would be a widow, though, since my husband seems to think shutting up might stop his heart.

Seriously! He’s a terrible person, and he’s gross. I could understand if he was only one of those things.

Read that as “Another Kardashian, Porn” and thought Huh, weird comma placement. Not sure whether that says more about me, or about them.

“I only keep the ones I’m not embarrassed to recommend” sounds like a solid plan of attack, TBH.

A-freaking-men. No, honey, you don’t need the biology text that still calls for Whittaker’s kingdoms.

I have questions about the order of this list.