That is a strange wedding photo. The photographer was good enough to do a nice job balancing the fact that there were six groomsmen to ten bridesmaids, but s/he neglected to ensure that the groom’s head was not sprouting a palm tree. (Also, there should be a groomsman next to the bride instead of a bridesmaid, because…

At first I thought you meant that this chick was too drunk to recall how she had gotten to your bar. That would be an impressive level of intoxication.

The cursing thing is key. Don’t take your kid to a bar and then try to language-police the people who are there to unwind and vent. When you’re a guest in a sea of regulars, read the room.

How about doing it for financial gain, then using the money to buy lobbyists?

I worry. Is she being wry, or does she need a hug?

Very relieved that this is hippie nonsense. I saw the headline and thought there was yet another weird growth I was supposed to be doing monthly self-exams for.

Yeah, animal testing is fine. Porn is bad.

A good go at it? Your input?

I am so damned stubborn about being rushed through things that I would talk like a drunken slug during those rapid-fire interviews.

He tells every guest they’re his favorite, and for some reason that infuriates me.

Food touching: white people do it so much, it’s literally a Seinfeld plot point.

Good job, dipshit administrators. These kids are walking out because they’re afraid of being killed. Dafuq is a little Breakfast Club cosplay in comparison?

You folks who can do a wing must be brain surgeons. Otherwise, I cannot fathom having a steady enough hand to get both sides to match each other. Looks great!

Most places require ID to process returns nowadays. No ID, no refund.

AFAIK most stores require ID for a return these days, so buying in cash doesn’t matter.

I have to use the mail because of scammers, yay! I fail to understand how identity theft is being solved by my using the Post Office every damned year.

Yes, SNS is just too damned late anymore. If I’m staying home, it’s because I’m beat by then, and if I’m going out, I’m gone by then.

I would love a historically accurate dramady featuring the exploits of Anyanka and Halfrek, please and thank you.

I always thought he looked like he was starting to melt, but I was taking it in a more Mr. Fantastic direction than a Neanderthal one.

This is grotesquely beautiful.