I would totally watch awards shows live, if those were the sort of speeches being given. Instead I just read these recaps.

If you’re doing vegetables in fruit juice, it’s just a short hop to vegetables in wine.

One of the bad parts of being in a small semi-rural community is that our post office is used as a training ground for noobs, so mistakes of this nature are basically permanent. As soon as the new guy stops screwing up, they send him somewhere bigger and we get a fresh idiot.

Back when I was still reading Ask A Manager, someone wrote in about how their boss left a voicemail cursing out an employee for being a no-show. Turned out the guy had died, and his parents got the hateful message.

Do it in writing, so you can calmly get the details out. Also, a letter will cut off the “hysterical woman” bullshit at the pass, in a way a phone call would not. Use proper but not prissy language, no slang or informal phrasing.

Floofcat! *pokes at tummy*

Tried and loved Verb Ghost Oil for frizz. I put on and took off a winter hat about six times yesterday, and the top 90% of my hair remained shiny and relatively smooth. (The bottom 10% is a fried mess that needs to go, but I’m super lazy at keeping up on haircuts.)

If you’re patient, they are also good for heating a pot of leg wax.

Heated seats > foot-long centipedes

My first experience with heated seats was also with a Cooper S, and that thing just about parboiled my ass. The settings were “off”, “blisters”, and “melting flesh”.

MINI will find new ways to suck. Fiat will find new ways to suck. The most interesting and useful small car will probably be a vaguely racist character in a Michael Bay movie.

Somebody at my last job decided to “help the little lady” and clear my windshield, roof, and hood with his ice scraper. It looked like a velociraptor attacked my car.

I have pet fitness goals this year. Two of my furballs are overweight, and I need to start separating all of them and feeding them different foods in separate rooms. It’s going to be a lot of aggravation, but it’s necessary.

She also broke her wrist in said fall, and needed surgery for it.

Band. Always. It’s my favorite game.

HOLY SHEET I did not put it together until your comment that his initials are cubic zirconia.

If they’d killed VictoriaKim Basinger and Jamesmeth guy during the damned baseball game, they wouldn’t be in this mess.

Dinosaur erotica is a thing, but childfree literature is not. Budding romance authors, please take note.

WTF is going on here, Jen. Do pregnant women grow beards? Are you doing a spy move for surrogates? WHAT IS HAPPENING.

She’ll have another one soon, once Bella Swan notices this one is missing and steals it back.