At the end of the game, Jim yelled out “Who’s got it better than us?” and in unison, the family screamed “Nobody!” and then everybody went inside and had pancakes and fucked. The Aristocrats!!

I guess that’s why we don’t need regulations.

Scientists, however, still haven’t figured out how to get their dick in a hole.

every general lee tribute that still has the confederate battle flag on the roof in 2017 deserves to be wrecked and junked. come at me.

You know Ryan, I don’t know anymore. Airlines cutting costs means there isn’t lotion in the airplane lavatory. Also, the TSA takes any lotion bottle over three ounces.

I have a three-year-old son with autism, a 10-month-old son, and a couple of anti-vaxxer in-laws.

The MMA equivalent of deciding to not campaign in MI or WI.

I stopped going to church for the same reason.

UMMMM EXCUSE ME BUT SURELY THE EDUCATION THEY GAIN IN THE D-LEAGUE IS EXTREMELY VALUABLE

Nope, still just unfortunate.

It would certainly triple his productivity.

“Well you don’t have to rub it in.”

DUKE ENDS INDEFINITE BACKPACK AND LOCKER ROOM SUSPENSION AFTER JUST ONE HOUR

Well look at the man with the golden fuckin’ sphincter over here guys.

Dockers Without Borders

Thank god. For a while there I thought I was being racist for thinking all the winners looked alike.

Matt Barnes should go explore the world though.

Everybody’d be wondering why Alfred Hitchcock was on their grill.

Sounds like someone’s gunning for a cabinet position.

The hijabs cancel out. I learned that in my Muslim Math 101 class at Trump University.