It seems like asparagus kicks in really fast - but not in the good way.

I’ve spent HOURS on my trainer over the years. MN roads are icy/salty for 5 or 6 months out of the year.
A lot of my friends swear by Zwift, but I use the Sufferfest app.  It runs on my laptop, and a USB dongle picks up all the garmin speed/cadence/HR sensors.  There’s usually a TdF type video, and a plot along with…

I’ll be over here watching, from the driver’s seat of my Audi with an electro-mechanical e-brake.

Audi typically understates HP ratings of their cars.  Online quarter mile times for the S4 look to be around 12.8 seconds.  14.2 for the Camry.

I don’t understand how it matters that his seat doesn’t recline.  If she wasn’t supposed to recline because the person behind her cannot, then the person in front of her can’t either.  Ergo, nobody can, and that’s ridiculous.  

For starters, wear those Blue Blockers glasses at all times.  You’ll never get a sexually transmitted disease.  

How come ‘directions to the library’ is like the second thing they teach you in every foreign language class? Slow your roll, man! I’m still illiterate over here.

Does he think that MAGA hats somehow are NOT allowed at these games? I mean, someone might throw a beer at you, but they’re not gonna throw you out of the game.

Wake up, people. This is the future that the hard left wants for you and your family.

You can tell it’s gonna be awesome when the blurbs in the trailer are provided by people who only give their last initial.

I swear what I heard in that trailer was: 

I was in Manchester recently, and met a couple young British guys at the pub. Tennis came up, and the guy volunteered that the only tennis player he could name was Andy Roddick. I reminded him of Andy Murray and his response was instant.

Looks good in the snow.

WHERE ARE ALL THE FREDDIE MERCURY JOKES?

Same.

I’m probably jinxing myself right now, but I bought a 2011 S4 when it was 3 years old with 29k on the clock. 5 years later it’s at 75k. The thermostat on that supercharged V6 is notorious for going out at 40k miles, and mine did. Dealership fixed it for free, out of warranty. Other than that, absolutely no problems.

For a while, back around 2000, I owned an 84 GTI that I bought from the original owner. Kinda rough shape, but it was a sweet little car. So cool.

RELATED: What type of maniac plays a round of golf, and then gets in a car and drives away IN THEIR GOLF SHOES?!?

Wasn’t it just really sweaty from that stupid MAGA golf cap?

Everybody Freeze! Everybody down on the ground!