How about the way that lady in the high heels just blew by him? Cold.

And BOOM goes the dynamite.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

THIS GUY WAS WEARING A FANNY PACK ON AN ELLIPTICAL MACHINE!!!! I don’t care WHAT was in it. That’s fucking bizarre.

I suspect this will work about one more time before someone actually tees off on his forehead and gets their money’s worth from that yellow card. (I played collegiate soccer, and I try to like it. But it’s so hard sometimes.)

I went to school with a guy who’d previously owned one of these. And he’d occasionally tell a story that started with, “I was driving my vette....” He refused to ever accept that he was wrong.

I read all these stories. Fine. But for some reason, for me, the grossest detail in here was the phrase, ‘piece of stool.’ Please don’t say that.

I just did a CTRL-C on

Is the lead photo a still from the Sabotage video?

Wait. You can’t make toast out of stale bread? Stale bread is half way there for you!

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

He’s just a Broad City fan.

That’s not actually MY car. I’ve never taken a decent photo of my own, so I did a quick image search for an imola yellow S4. But in a couple weeks I will be putting on my dark grey winter wheels with Blizzaks.

LOOK AT ME!!!

Armed football fans are so fucking polite.