WHAT THE FUCK’S A SIWASH??!?

Finally, a Texas HS kid assaults a ref with a little bit of subtlety.

Keep your eye on the player in blue

Whose disgusting wing eating chin is that?

Burt Reynolds was the Bandit. Smokey was played by Jackie Gleason.

I’ve never complained explicitly about the value of a trade-in offer. What does bug me, though, is when I have to make an appointment to have the car ‘appraised’ by their trade-in specialist. I go to the dealer and sit around the show room for 90 minutes while this expert goes over my car with a fine tooth comb. And…

I was living in Chicago in ‘89 and didn’t know about the air show over the lake. I lived on the 22nd floor of my building and looked out the window to see a fighter jet streak by. I was looking down into his cockpit and could see his helmet. Extremely alarming - especially when you don’t know there’s an airshow going…

I tried to find a youtube clip of my favorite Simpons moment. They’re watching a parade at itchy and scratchy land when a robot itchy tips its hat to Homer. We see circuit boards and blinking lights inside the robot’s head.

Bummer about those small penises.

I’d be curious to know on what fucking surface you drive any cars you manage to be able to purchase after the IRS has taken your money.

You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherfucker.

You need one of these for toast. Butter at my house is always ready to spread. http://www.amazon.com/Trudeau-096070…

“Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.”

Unfortunately he’s paid to win races. Not to cart around giant balls.

Yeah, I guess it sucks for you that they weren’t closed before then. The nerve of those assholes, serving you drinks!!

Wait. What?!

...on the run from Dirty Harry.

Throttle cable snapped on my Jeep CJ-7. The 'stereo' had been stolen years earlier, so I ripped out a length of speaker wire and tied one end to the carb. I ran that out the side of the hood gap up to the driver's door, which didn't exist because Jeep. I controlled the throttle with my left hand by pulling on the…

I'm really going to take your advice to heart. I'm going to run my own pool every year from now on. No one else can enter. I'm winning every year, bitches!! SUCK IT!!

...And after the game they made pancakes.