Let’s keep in mind how much Adele has put the Grammys through the ringer, as we reflect on how poorly the Grammys do not look for a change.

AND I AM THEEE RHOMBUSSSS

They must have a Pete Carroll sex tape.

It’s never a bad time to be a mediocre white man in America.

Sarkisian and Kiffin inexplicably keep landing on their feet despite being huge d-bags.

Makes sense when you correct the typo. ‘CBA’ should be ‘CBD’.

Yeah...what are the chances that Phil Jackson’s obsession with the triangle offense mostly has to do with its reputation for being incredibly complicated and complex? The dude is preoccupied with seeming like he’s the smartest man in the room, to the point that he’s often incomprehensible. 

I’m thinking he’s going with the fact that Sark is an under-qualified asshole, which, you might have noticed, tends to get you promoted to high positions in government these days. So the only thing left to debate is which office will Sark run for after he gets fired in 18 months?

Sad to see Sarkisian won’t be taking college kids under his tutelage anymore. How else are they supposed to learn the delicate balance of being a high-functioning alcoholic, or, when that inevitably fails, how to successfully run a redemption-story campaign? You know, the important life skills.

Cutty Sark doesn’t stay in port for too long.

That booger-eating bastard coached one game for us, lost it, and then jumped ship. Saban has got to stop operating a halfway house for disgraced USC castoffs.

Third rule in Latino families: leave your wife after she donates her organs to you.

Note to self: Do not jog in combat boots. Or inject human growth hormone.

John Daly is Fucked Up Again, Enters Tournament

Something something banging hookers something something tooth.

It wasn’t the golf, it was the navy seal training and other absurdities

Josh Brown may dispute his ex-wife Molly’s claim that he hit her, but I think, looking at the evidence, that her accusations are pretty solid. In fact I’d say they’re unsinkable.

Was he holding her down or holding her up?

No, she pulled those faces because she was off her tits on something. Either pills or booze, or both.