When I waitressed, the Sunday after-church crowd was the worst.

On my income? It would have to be a whoopee cushion duct-taped to a slap bracelet with a sundial drawn on it.

Everyone who wants to know why she just doesn’t get a permit really should go back to their history and re-read “Letter from Birmingham Jail” and the section on just and unjust laws.

Great, you want to find them all homes and psychiatric care so they can take care of themselves. She wants to feed them NOW because they’re hungry NOW.

Those fried pork chops.

Yeah, those aren’t friends. Real friends are happy for your happiness. They certainly don’t convene to pen a letter to tear you down.

I don’t have kids, but I do have friends who post lots of pics of their kids. LOTS of pictures of their kids. Some of the pictures are really cute, too. In any case, who cares? You click like, and you move on. Once in a while, you comment “adorable!” Later in the day, they will click like on my bazillionth dog…

This lady needs some new friends, stat.

And mock sword fight with little kids and defeat them every time.

Absolutely not. They're super flattering. I never want to see a low rise pair again.

No!!! I love them!

what’s the approximate amount of hilarious gay panic we can expect, compared to friends?

This is so awesome. And I agree with Barnacle Betty, and I have blueberry waffles in the freezer. I know what I'm having for dinner!

Your kinja handle is the tastiest.

I'm the same age as this dude and got married quite young (24), and yet here we are, happily coming up on our 5th anniversary. Yes, we spend too much time looking at screens and not communicating and we don't have sex a lot. We don't spend that much time together, because we're the sort of people who like being…

Sorry Anthony, I can't hear your douchy self-pity over my overwhelming joy at converting my Civil Partnership (Domestic Partnership) into full marriage last Monday.

That reminds me of the movie Sabrina :)

I can’t bear to watch the video but I am so damn glad that someone made one. There should be a reward for whoever filmed this.

Obviously the correct answer is Jackson Galaxy: cat behaviorist by day, musician by night.