Yeah it mostly gives me the creeps, like I feel like they’re right behind me, breathing on me, whispering, right near my ear. Like if I got the tingly high, I’m sure it would be fine. Instead I get the nopes.

Wait your guys schedules aren’t packed with whimsical pastel mermaid parties?

God bless my and my fiancee’s small families (that are in the US anyway), our weird array of skilled friends, and that my dad is the superintendent of a small golf course that has a lovely club house that was offered to us as a venue FOR FREE MY GOD FREEEEEEE. We’re escaping with a greatly reduced budget.

I always mentally add the words “literal Nazi” to Coco Chanel.

What do these people think, you’re going to look back at your wedding photos and see your tattoos like a poorly thought out haircut that has no thankfully grown out?

ALSO. Have these women never heard of a gay person either? Like, I’m getting married to another woman, tell me more about how I’m a slave to a man. Please tell me how horrible and meaningless marriage is to me, after I was just granted the right. Ugh.

It’s interesting how I hear the marriage isn’t feminist thing and I think “maybe you should understand how things evolve though history and in there are a myriad of social contexts you aren’t considering... also maybe stop telling this to a FUCKING LESBIAN YOU HETERO NORMATIVE PIECE OF SHIT.”

The travel one killed me! Like, do the ~travel~ people not understand that like, maybe, just maybe, the wedding is, god I don’t know, IMPORTANT OR MEANINGFUL to the person doing it? Anyway if I gathered all the money I’m spending on my wedding up, I’d have enough for one plane ticket. Woo fucking hoo. People have got…

If someone thinks so, they can just suffer then. No one should fault you for wanting to celebrate! Congrats on 8.5 and the great kid!

I worked at a place where there was a mandated tip-out % based on your sales and if you were unlucky enough to be near the bar (we only had a dedicated bar tender there on Friday and Saturday nights) when someone wanted carry out, then you took that order and had to tip out on it. Meaning we usually had to pay for the…

...one time my aunt sent back a salad because there was a hair on the UNDERSIDE of the bowl. How she noticed, why it was worth sending a salad back over, and if they just waited a minute and brought the same salad back (what I would have done), I don’t know.

As a fat lesbian with 50 inch hips and B cup tits, who wants to kickstart me one of these?

I know a farm guy who cut off the tip of his finger and then a fucking pig ate it.

Not much to say other than: Mennonite Christian Camp.

It’s a real shame his name is Lupis not Lupin...

I really want to know what these lipsticks felt like? Like what the texture was. I mean someone could tell me, but it’s not the same.

YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.

Some middle aged Indian man on a flight from Amsterdam to New Delhi saw 17 year old me throw up like 4 times from motion sickness, and those were the times I COULDN’T get the bathroom and had to use the bag because my friend who was with me wouldn’t let me sit on the aisle and forced me to sit in the middle before…

my bed is just a mattress on the floor and I’m still like “eeeeeehhhh” when my foot hangs off the edge. this will not help.

This is basically the Dunning-Kruger effect. Like not precisely, but yeah basically, right? Like it explains this pretty well: these people think they’re experts because of how little they actually know about the subject.