Didn’t even realize the number of checks was there lol. So people for real seriously didn’t notice $8 extra being charged? Seriously, how DIDN’T she get caught sooner.

Wait, was it an EXTRA $8 per bill (like over the written tip amount) or was she upping her tips to around $8?

You can interpret this as dick or not I dunno... but when my older sister was 19 Mitch Hedberg gave her and her boyfriend $50 because their car would’t start, and then said, to them both, he’d give them more if she went up to his room (this happened at a casino where they’d gone to see his show) and sucked his dick.…

I mean its a little annoying but I’d rather you send me away so I can do other stuff than say your ready and have me stand there while you go “hmmmmm ummmm lemme seee............” So it’s all relative.

“super salad” happened to the point of me straight up arguing with a lady and her family being so confused about why she was so upset at the size of her salad. Usually it was “and soup or salad?” “no just a regular salad please.” but that lunch shift it went on for so long. And when I worked Mexican food I’d say “corn…

Yeah my dad had never eaten garlic in his life until he started dating my mom lol.

I’m the same about texture! And tomatoes! I basically like the taste of all foods I’ve tried (exceptions: avacado, brussels sprouts, yes even roasted), but the feel of it in my mouth? Awful. I also have a freakishly sensitive gag reflex and if something goes in that feels weird.... or even a food I like. Like I almost…

My niece wouldn’t eat a hot dog because it had been grilled instead of microwaved. SO HER GRANDMA PEELED THE CASING OFF. Like. This kid is ridiculously picky, but I just feel like okay, all she wants to eat is apples and oat meal. fine. but peeling the hot dog was just one step to far. Her grandma cares for her most…

half the fajitas I served to adults then had all of the vegetables picked out and pushed to one side and the meat eaten. And those aren’t even like, ‘difficult’ vegetables. Onions and bell peppers, you giant babies. gaint. fucking. babies.

:) thank you! I saw the title and thought, I don’t know if I can even go down to the threads... I was at the grocery store and stared quietly crying to myself and bought a bouquet of mother’s day flowers. Mother’s day and Christmas. Rougher than her birthday, or the anniversary of her death, god only knows why.

I do that too! I over compensate. I’m like “look at me talk I’m so normal and charming! you must never ever know I’m dying inside! That will only make it worse!”

omg the ad before it was about Cheerios becoming gluten free...

All I can see are a pair of future recluses.

As with lip injections, once again it’s the upper lip that really makes it look... off.

that too.

along with allergies: sugar free requests. Like haha I’m gonna give this skinny bitch regular coke or whatever. No. Stop. Have you ever fucking heard of diabetes?

IRL I gave a girl a ride home from class earlier this week and we were chatting and she finally went “wait how old are you?!” after I said things like ‘going back to school’ ‘getting married next fall’ ‘when i was 18...’

yeah this was all going down when I was 13 so... I was pretty much only thinking about what I wanted to get from Hot Topic that weekend so... I’d love some book suggestions!

Oh my god I made those cinnamon rolls, AMAZING, but also I think had to like third the recipe or something absurd.

Burnt popcorn is the microwave burn that ruins everything though. Like the smell... scourge of my dorm back in high school. you could smell it before you even went in like, “some motherfucking idiot pressed that lying two faced popcorn button and went off to their room...”