Cleveland’s NBA team sure seems to behave in a care-free, impulsive manner.

My point is that they’re capricious, and pay little heed to impending risk.

I’m having a hard time finding the right word to describe Cleveland’s NBA team, but it’s something along those lines...

Phil is the ultimate phony good guy. He’s so obviously a Shooter McGavin. This is another example. He’s passive aggressively trying to muscle the school into changing the graduation so he can have his cake and eat it too. There’s a common etiquette in pro golf that you withdraw as soon as possible so that another of…

“When I was looking at earth from the window of the International Space Station (where I was invited by the king of earth), I could see the sun glinting off the top of Robert Trent Jr.’s balding head like golden beacon. I could also see his mom, because she’s so big that when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND…

Just ask this Phillies fan, or a Cubs fan, or an anything-from-Cleveland fan: When that lone championship does manage to come along after what seems like an eternity of waiting, it feels so much better. At the very least, it sustains you for the next decade or two of absolute sucking you know you’re in for.

I ride the F & A/C trains twice a week. I ride the R/W on the other days. For the latter ride, I don’t go far. So I’m not privy to the chaotic delays that people encounter. I see conductors/operators getting way too much shit. They are almost universally pleasant, communicative, and helpful if need be. I like to look…

“Flat Earther Does Something Dumb.”

“Hey...Remember when you went to Miami and you and Wade and Bosh did the big roll out at the MTV Awards?...Yeah...That was great.”

What I really enjoy about that question is that it’s basically a “talk about” prompt, but phrased as a question.

“LeBron, is this a case of where you have to defend home court at this point?”

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

Really, you don’t remember all the articles lamenting the Leastern Conference. This has been a thing for almost 15 years. At least before this year you could always count on the West providing a compelling competition. Now Durant killed one Western contender by leaving (OKC). And made the already leading contender so…

Libertarianism is like astrology for men.

Oh we know. They are already here, gray and mad as fuck.

I’m a lifelong Heat fan. Dwyane Wade is our franchise’s legend. Shaq and Lebron brought us championships. Any Heat fan my age will tell you their absolute favorite player ever is Dwyane Wade. But, if I may draw a distinction, my absolute favorite player of the Big 3 era was Chris Bosh. Erik Spoelstra repeatedly said…

Yeah, Emma, how could you have forgotten that one game six weeks ago when a seven-seed briefly crawled out of an 0-2 hole before their heavily-favored opponent finished stomping them out?

1. Mr.

Pujols was nuts because when he was in his prime, when he hit his dongs, they weren’t the typical big power guy home runs. They were 500 foot line drives. That homer he hit off Brad Lidge might still be going up.

This may be a dumb take, but I’m not convinced the Warriors are going to remain an unstoppable juggernaut for the next five years. Look at their contract situation: they’ve been coasting for years off paying Curry ridiculously below market value, but he and Durant are both up this offseason. Assuming they want to keep…

Officer: Do you understand what I’m asking you to do?

One day internet will come to Canada and Canadians won’t have to depend on printouts of Deadspin posts for hockey coverage.