Obligatory palate cleansers.

Spot on.
And ... “Paden’s adult son, Anthony, has also been charged with sodomizing the victim.”
Okay. Yeah, this guy raised his son to be just like him. I’m sure he’s a pillar of the community as well.

This is a good point, so I’ll give Michael’s a pass. I’m beyond even remedial help in crafting, so I didn’t think of that.
The rest, though? I couldn’t even get to the store in time to find candy corn 70% off before the candy canes and peppermint bark filled the aisles!

THANK YOU! This is my name for our vaunted Governor, too!
My almost-12 year old maintains that he’s wayyy creepier than Voldemort. I concur.
Also, weird, she’s a girl and she represented her school TWICE in the district science fair but she didn’t even bring home the flier for the Daddy-daughter breakfast. Huh. (I…

I’m with you on this! The day before Halloween I was in Target to get some makeup for Kid #2 (who somehow lost the costume makeup we bought and of course found it today). Anyyyyway. The staff is in the Halloween aisles moving stuff to clearance and a quarter of the aisle was Fall/Thanksgiving stuff being put there as…

Stellar reference!

{{I mean, “Florida FTW”, at least to the extent that living in Florida can be considered a win. Which varies dramatically from minute to minute depending on what shitshow has made it to the news.}}

Thanks for representing! This is my system as well.
And it’s reinforced by having 2 daughters who maintain that only devastatingly uncool people wear socks that match. And now we all wear the same size socks, so FUCKIT, LET’S ALL SKATE. Gimme 2 socks, any socks. We only have athletic socks anyway!
Florida and…

This thread and the resulting spider gifs is the worst thing to happen to me in a WHILE. I just spent an hour collecting NOPE gifs and not a one was sufficient. Excellent work!

Choosing which side of the bed to sleep on is *involved*, isn’t it? I like to be away from the door, closer to the window AND when I sleep on my left side, facing away from whoever’s in my bed (My kid. It’s always my kid now. I have no life. wahhhhh!)
This decision is fraught. I’m divorced and can’t manage to sleep in…

I really want Cher to take on some of the assholes popping up in my feed...

THANK YOU.
Thought I’d missed something, too.
And then I rewound and was struck by the thought that they were probably SUPER PROUD OF THEMSELVES for “featuring” a **girl** working on her science fair project, too. Even though she didn’t actually get to do it because her stupid commercial dad thought a TV was a good…

Worse: post-workout, hashtag-heavy, paleo, clean-eating posts from people who won’t STFU about crossfit, beach body, the whole 30, or whatever trend they’re following at the moment. There are wayyy more of those - even where I go to yoga!

This is a beautiful comment and if you don’t mind, I will be filing it away to use the next time I see a hashtag-laden post about someone’s post-workout paleo meal. <3

I *think* it’s a Sage Derby, but I’m not positive. What I AM positive about is that I want all of the cheese in that pic, and also I WILL TOTALLY VOTE FONDUE/QUESO 2016!!

I would definitely vote for a sassy picante provolone or a stabby super sharp white cheddar before I’d vote for Rubio.
And as a Floridian who definitely didn’t vote for him, I’d like it if he resigned from the Senate and then also didn’t get to be President!
...
Now I just want some cheese. And maybe some wine. Is it…

I will never look at that clip again in the same way! Baahahaahaa!

Scary, innit?!
.... Off to play Extinction. :P

A kid who has heard “Hannah Banana” her whole life. A kid who maybe decided to embrace the hell out of it last year and now she doesn’t eat bananas because “cannibalism.” Possibly.
I’d love to put up a picture but internet creeps, so. :/