...shhhh. He hasn’t realized it yet. That’s in the THIRD act. <spoliers>

It cheers up a bit if you give it a Dorito.

Wouldn’t the holocaust basically have been like Golden Corral for cannibals?

Does a tiny version of her crawl out of the video window, and if so, can you keep it in a cage like an antisocial mouse?

Whatif they posted it in an AV club comment thread but were stuck in the grays?

I'll raise you a Danny DeVito.

No Erik the Viking!

I THINK HE SAID THE SHERIFF IS NEARER..?

That cover image really makes it look like she’s one of them Alita Battle Angel things.

Sorry. I just saw that on a plane...anybody else figure that they could have gotten Aubrey Plaza to play Alita without the CGI eyes and it would have looked the same?

YOU PROVINCIAL PUTZ.

DON'T YOU DARE FUCK WITH MY BENJI.

I think it should just be an AI with a robot avatar. Call it “Trebek-bot 2000" or something. “Alex” will be the new “Alexa”.

“I’ve been making horse carts for almost 50 years now...very similar horse carts using many of the same components over and over again, and let me tell you, these new automobiles ain’t horse carts!”

Francesco Scorsese, 1906

The Haugue? 

Um...Han, Leia and Darth Vader. Then he saves Luke’s life.

What did Rose do?

Who are Finn and Poe?

The new movies have a weird heirarchy. There are only really two main characters, but then 10,000 secondary ones. The originals were much more ensemble pieces.

It’s the internet. I can give you 100 examples of anybody caring about anything...that still doesn’t mean that there is a fact-based trend going on.

For the sake of shitsandgiggles, I checked google trends to see if there is an upswing in anybody giving a shit about Rose Tico. There is not.

...also thought it might be…

Same. I thought that Cameron was a genius back then because he managed to power-up two movies that were unfuckable, Terminator and Alien.

I love both originals, but the sequels are equally as good and their own things.

Time has shown that there is literally no other person alive who could pull off that trick.

Taylor is survived by his longtime partner, Robert Fortney and over 1400 wigs.

Finn and Poe should be one character. They could probably add Rose into those two as one character and nobody would notice. Finporose, master Jedi chef or something.

Maybe combine the 3 into one character, then drop that character.

Man I don’t remember that movie. There was some dumb shit about bombs in space, then somebody hyperspaced a ship through another ship. Luke did something weird with milk and some old guy got cut in half. Did Rose do any of that?