Also egregious was that time she made a t-shirt shirt with a stupid pun aimed at shaming her boyfriend’s wife. Said wife didn’t want to divorce Julia’s boyfriend, and that made Julia mad because she wanted to get married. I’m more laissez-faire about affairs than most people, but going the extra step of gloating and ru…

Who?

Can we talk about this picture? I need someone to talk to me about this picture.Please.

I thought she was Tilda Swinton...

NOOOO!!

I used to do this every now and then but it’s been a couple years at this point.. so for old times’ sake, here is a list I’ve compiled of some of my all time favorite Gwyneth Paltrow quotes from over the years:

It is so sad--heartbreakingly sad--to think that there’s enough leg there for an entire family of short people, and yet all of it belongs to Gwyneth.

He’s too young for me to comfortably crush on, but I did appreciate that he had a very Mark Ruffalo-esque voice and cadence.

Very excited. I think this is truly one of the smartest and funniest shows I’ve ever seen. Just the ridiculous background puns are always so clever - Almost every single shot (is that what you call it in an animated show?) stands on its own as hilarious.

Bleep Bloop Bleep Let’s Laugh With Celebrities With Mr. Good Time Smiley Pants

Bobby bringing the heat. I’m here for it.

would you like to place a bet on me ever leading a story on Jez with Kim again because i’ll win

Are you saying Jezebel is a hive mind and there’s no distinction between different authors? Because if Bobby Finger says he’s tired of the Kardashians, it might be true for him and that he’ll no longer cover them (unless being compelled to because she’s doing something like meeting Trump again, which would actually be…

That has to be photoshopped, right? I’m pretty sure what she’s doing with her legs isn’t anatomically possible.

My dogs have 850 square feet of air conditioned luxury complete with a king size bed, flat screen TVs, modern appliances, and a spacious yard. They let me live here too, so it’s pretty cool. 

GOOD NEWS - Trump Baby Blimp will fly over London during his visit! The Mayor has allowed it :)

All I care about is that Bobby’s still here.  Amen.

If that’s what CPR looks like, please. Let me die.

I loved all of this. I find these endlessly fascinating even though I have yet to purchase one thing anyone has recommended in the facial care ones. (And I do need to.)

Yeah I’m not sure it helps Hardwick’s case that the only women sticking up for him is his wife, whose mother is like the patron saint of Stockholm Syndrome.