These are the best engagement pictures I’ve ever seen.

What if I told Willie that wearing leggings allows me to make my queefs sound like a duck call?

I want to be couple friends with Megan and Nick where we do old people things like puzzles and cross stitch with really crass conversation.

My manager finally comes over and informs me that she is removing the gratuity from the bill.

This may be the weirdest application of Pinkham’s Law yet.

Is this a serious comment? You don’t understand the difference between farting in a restaurant and dressing in a non-puritanical way?

Who the hell just lets a fart fly in a restaurant like it’s nothing? I’ll run to the bathroom if I have to.

I thought there was already a movement to save the wet seals?

Online shopping is hard on traditional retailers, my friend. How is Hot Dog on a Stick to survive? Who will think of Wet Seal? #savethemall

Caitlyn Jenner wore the same dress as Kate Middleton. What does it mean?

#younglove How tender.

I mean really;

Adele absolutely didn’t have anything to prove. Welcome back. I didn’t even know one could run to a heartbreaking song but I did this morning and it was awesome. I can’t stop listening to hello.

Mean Girls truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

Khloe .... look, he’s sick (on so many levels). And you can love someone who is sick, but you really shouldn’t be trying to be in love with someone who is sick. You just keep getting hurt and the only person who’s going to end up really suffering is you.

The anthrolopologie version of this, naturally

Here we see the former Senator after giving his remarks...

I’ll miss you most of all, scarecrow.

I'm no Hillary Clinton supporter but she totally destroyed that. No surprise though.