Big if true

I find it impossible to believe that Uncle Becky couldn’t have called the USC advancement/development/fundraising people and said, “Look, my daughter ain’t the brightest, but fuck if I’m sending her to goddamn Arizona State; how does a $250,000 donation on top of tuition sound?” and gotten her in for half of what they…

REPORT: I Actually Wanted to Hook Up with the Attractive Girl on My Floor and Not My Left Hand That Night in College and After College and Last Week and Yesterday and This Weekend

Dude just ate up the competition.

Same here. Always went out to Granite Run, but slummed it at Springfield if I had to. Now that I’m an adult, I go to KOP. Sign of growth (and a driver’s license) and all. Also RIP Granite Run.

Friday Night Lights 2: WE AIN’T PLAY NO FUTE-BOWL, YA HEAR?

I hear you and all, but as someone who lives here, I can tell you the “hustle” thing never really came up as much locally as it did nationally. The overwhelming desire for Harper over Machado I think came from two things: 1) Harper is a bigger star (you can unpack why if you like), and there is something to be said…

But not for long, probably.

I’m 35, and have been stuck in my office chair all day thanks to back spasms that sprung up upon exiting my car this morning. So Albert’s quote just hurt my feelings, whereas age actually hurts my body.

Mine is actually Cole Hamels, who is a couple months younger than me (we’re both 35, actually). I still have his shirtzee from back in the day when he was with the Phillies, and I wore it during the holidays to go visit my cousin (she was and remains a big Hamels fan).

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

34-year-old center Andrew Bogut

See, he clearly needs more time in the minors to learn how to hit with both hands, LIKE AN ADULT

Chasing down the ball in his own end after a goal kick, Trippier had barely any pressure

Jackass arena guy didn’t even play his music!

You say this like being in the Europa League is a good thing.

See, extra seasoning CAN help!

With the release of those documents

To be fair, Neymar spends so much time falling to the ground it’s hard to know if he got fouled or if he’s just a narcoleptic.

I’m a Phillies fan, and “bryce harper” is probably now my second most-searched term all time on Google. He’ll have to go unsigned for quite a while to make it to number one because let’s just say I was a lonely fellow in my 20s.