I was dating a guy for a couple of weeks when I finally went to his place to meet his roommate. What I didn't know was that he was running late and his roommate was his identical twin. About halfway through I was like, "Wait a second...".

Exactly. It looks awesome.

Maybe, maybe not.

Every room looks like a kitchen.

Obviously, someone has uploaded their soul to the internet.

Duuuude. That is deep, man. Wait...what?

lol they hatin'.

That cat is a diva!

They are clearly in the pocket of BIG CAT.

Let's not infantilize this woman. Up to this point, she was at least able to drive, which means she might have had a level of good health, independence and mobility. A person like that is absolutely dangerous waving around a gun.

This made me laugh really loud. Perfect comeback.

LOLOLOL!!!!

The name of my new band AND the title of our first album. All-Day-Jay: Jack-Hammered Into the Ground (Live at Budokan)

Stolen from Stephen King — "The Body" It's awesome, though.

That's...that is...disconcerting.

Jesus H. Baldheaded Christ.

When I was a baby social worker in L.A. I did a ride-along with some with some paramedics from LAFD. It wasn't strictly allowed but they were cool with letting me hang for about an hour. So we get a call for a pick up on Skid Row. It's some poor wretch who drank from the wrong bottle. They strap him in and load…

Totally stealing

Way to stay classy. I mean, "6-carat princess cut engagement ring"? That's when she lost my respect.

For years, I thought "Pookie" was my cousin's nickname.