And that’s what this guy ADMITS to.

Hang on, let me stick my hand between the cushions of my couch...okay, we’ve got 15 Cheerios, 6 Reese’s Puffs and one green clover marshmallow. Yeah, the data bears it out - kids like Cheerios. 

I don’t foresee Superman beating up immigrants, but I would be willing to put money on there being a scene where Superman stares at the Earth from space and closes his fist around it. “Ruling you would be so easy. Maybe later. If you push me.” 

Wow, so weird that having a worm-brained racist game show host in the White House didn’t automatically solve all of these guys’ problems. Well, I’m sure their inherent superiority will kick in any minute now. 

BITCH MOTHERFUCKER FACTORY WORKERS

That is definitely the face of a guy who has openly wondered why there isn’t “WHITE Entertainment Television.”

Ironically, “politically incorrect” is the PC term for “asshole.”

Wasn’t aware of that fact, so that makes sense then. Still, he has to be in a tough spot right now. Does he tune into the NFL every week to support racism, or does he boycott it to support racism? Real catch-22 for that guy.

There’s no fucking way George Motherfucking Zimmerman was born a Skins fan, right? That is absolutely 100 percent an “owning the libs” situation.

Cyborg was Guy Who Thinks He’s A Monster in “Justice League.” Just like Batman was Snarky Billionaire Genius, Aquaman was Arrogant Warrior-Prince From A Mythical Kingdom, Wonder Woman was Soldier From The Distant Past and Flash was, uh, Joss Whedon.

The mental gymnastics these fuckers go through to acknowledge that Nazis are scum while also being very proud of everything Nazis stood for is something. “The principles of the Nazis are totally abhorrent and absolutely not in line with our beliefs in white people having the country all to themselves and the Jews…

Absolutely, but “Barton Fink” already had him playing a different kind of maniac. Also there’s one “Roseanne” where I remember him slamming Johnny Galecki against a wall for some reason that was utterly terrifying.

I love that bit where he’s talking about the movies he used to produce and he swells with pride a little remembering how one critic called them “European.” You really get the sense that organized crime was supposed to be a means to an end for Brooks’ character and he resents where he ended up.

I was eager to see what DC’s service would look like on the comics side until they dropped that “curated” thing. Maybe I’m the outlier, but I subscribe to Marvel Unlimited because it has oddball 70s stuff like Man-Thing and cheesy 90s stuff like FORCE WORKS alongside classic Spidey and X-Men. It sounds like DC is…

Weezer fares much better if you pretend their discography runs in reverse. They start out making garbage pop-rock that relies on lazy irony and an adolescent mindset. Then they transition into tighter, more earnest songwriting with the Green album. Then, they take like eight years off and come back with Pinkerton,…

This just feels like someone desperately wanted “Solo” to become more important in the canon. I liked it, too, but there’s no way we’re going to see Khaleesi hanging out with Darth Maul outside of some comic books or maybe a video game after that box office.  

It’s probably why people from around here don’t push back too hard against the caricatures. Being sweaty and shouting about “DA BEARS” all the time is cuddlier than all that other shit. We can get defensive about our pizza instead of our uneasy history of integration - that means it’s okay!

At a friend’s house I had the pleasure of listening to some crusty old South Side ex-pats loudly complain about the “welfare queens” and “fucking animals” who “took over” their old neighborhood. I saw a Catholic priest nod in silent agreement as one old asshole said “they’re animals because they’re all from the…

When is the Facebook map banner ceremony?

Especially for someone whose whole persona is just “Kristin Wiig’s ‘Aunt Linda’ character, but really steamed at those kooky liberals.” That’s her whole bit. “Single-payer healthcare? SNORT!” “Same-sex marriage? PUH-LEASE!” “Barack Obama? Give me a BREAK!”