“No one is proud to be called a pedophile.”

I haven’t revisited the previous season, but has Hatred’s...problem been solved? The tour he was giving at the start seemed to be composed entirely of young boys. 

Nah, I don’t think it would be right to make any of these characters successful at anything, even something that deplorable. Being disgusting AND pathetic is the Gang’s hallmark.

Damn, I didn’t even know Walk Hard was on there! THIS IS A DARK FUCKING PERIOD!

I’M LISTENING TO THE FUCKING SONG!

Hear me out: Fraiser decides he wants to get into acting, so he moves down to Los Angeles to live with his never-before-seen sister Drea de Matteo.

Kind of suspicious that this news comes out so soon after John Mahoney died. I’m not saying Kelsey Grammer assassinated Mahoney to remove the only opposition to a “Fraiser” reboot, but a lot of very smart people are saying it, folks. You’re hearing more and more that Kelsey Grammer had John Mahoney killed, is all I’m…

You gotta be careful out there, man. What with the Borats and the PR firms and the Ambien and all that.

My kid was watching one that was supposed to be about Beast Boy deciding he wanted to be a bear full-time, then all of a sudden it turned out to be about why student loans are a gigantic scam. What a weird kids’ show.

Never fucking Tweet.

It seems like independent teams are finding homes in suburban areas where they’re a cheaper, family-friendly alternative to MLB games. At least out here in the Chicago area, you have the Joliet Slammers, the Schaumburg Boomers, the Windy City Thunderbolts in Crestwood, the Chicago Dogs in Rosemont and the Gary…

Why not? Oakland’s ballpark has already proven you can play Major League Baseball without clean running water.

First he got tricked into using the n-word, then he got tricked into resigning from his very important Pizza Daddy position. How the fuck did this guy ever become a millionaire? Hey, Papa John, give me your fucking lunch money, you prick!

“THE MALL OF CTHULHU”

“Why does that one really puffy zombie keep saying everyone looks like they have AIDS?”

I used to take that book and Danny Peary’s “Cult Movies” books out of the library at least once a month as a kid. I couldn’t even find “Basket Case” or “Eraserhead” at a video store until I went to college, but I knew practically every beat of those movies by heart at the age of 11.

I had plans to take my family to the drive-in tonight, as a matter of fact. Even though I’ll be there to see a Disney superhero movie - the very definition of “indoor bullcrap” - the Shudder app means I may be one of the only people in the world watching this at an actual drive-in, under the stars, as God intended. 

I wish I had as much confidence in anything as you do about the outcome of a hypothetical Internet slapfight about Star Wars.

It’s even dumber than that - Dennis Quaid is supposed to be Chief Brody’s SON.

I don’t think it’s that bad, but it’s certainly more interesting to consider its flaws than its merits. The story of how a movie is made shouldn’t be more entertaining than the movie itself. There’s nothing the movie has to say about Disney that hasn’t already been said. Yes, there’s a soulless corporation behind…