Ah, well. Still, you have to admit that none of this would have happened had Japan not bombed Pearl Harbor, leading to the entry of the United States into World War II, creating the geopolitical climate for America to rise as a global superpower, establishing a post-war economy buoyed by unprecedented defense spending…

Didn’t Johnson cross that threshold of popularity when The Last Jedi passed the $1 billion mark?

And why should he?

“You’re not well-liked!”

I know, it’s a huge bore when someone keeps endlessly expressing the same well-worn thought.

Jesus Fucking CHRIST

Bane was mashed together with Nuke, the super-soldier reject from Frank Miller’s Daredevil run in the “Bruce Wayne, Agent of SHIELD” comic. They didn’t even bother to give him a new name, he was just Nuke wearing Bane’s mask. Venom was apparently left out of the Amalgam event but Carnage and Bizzaro were merged into…

Three seconds of film that’s better than all eleventeen MCU movies so far, and I like most of those MCU movies.

He was actually an Avenger for a hot minute, albeit on one of the many spinoff teams they have these days. He made his first appearance with the team wearing a knock-off, pink-and-green Spider-Man costume because he was a secret weapon or something. They don’t print that series anymore, either.

I haven’t seen this many adult men work so hard to avoid being touched since Comic Con! WHOA!

It gets better: According to the interview, Lucas’ original idea for Episode VII was Luke explaining to Leia the Jedi method for holding your breath in space and floating in zero-gravity. It would have been presented as a single shot, one-take, in real time, and the audience would have been presented with copies of…

Only in the world of superheroes could replacing one character that’s 79 years old with another character that’s only 78 years old be considered a bold step forward.

That film? You guessed it, “The Pest” starring John Leguizamo.

“..once I blow your organization through, uh, let’s just say, social media hell?”

Yes, the song part is funny, but I’m marveling at “Lowest Hispanic numbers in the history of our country!” Like there’s a counter in the Oval Office just labeled “Hispanics” he watches all day and gets excited when it dips.

“I’m gonna kill you all kinds of dead.” That’s a line that couldn’t possibly appear in any other kind of movie, and I respect “The Spirit” for that.

It isn’t just that scene - Batman v Superman puts Superman in front of a Congressional hearing, which would be a perfect opportunity for everyone to hear Superman state in his own words why he’s Superman. Instead, everything explodes before he has a chance to say anything. The DCEU movies are filled with moments where…

Injustice is a better Batman v. Superman than “Batman v. Superman,” but the problem is that Injustice is predicated on all of those characters having long histories together. The DCEU wanted the fight between its two biggest icons to be the beginning.

My friends and I watched “Top Gun” so many times in high school but almost never watched any of it after Goose died. What would be the point?

Guardians of the Galaxy 2: “That guy may have been your father, but he wasn’t your daddy.” If I hadn’t adopted my son, there would be absolutely no reason why Henry: Portrait of a Goddamn Serial Killer painted like a fucking Smurf could make me mist up, but there it is.