Jesus Fucking CHRIST

Bane was mashed together with Nuke, the super-soldier reject from Frank Miller’s Daredevil run in the “Bruce Wayne, Agent of SHIELD” comic. They didn’t even bother to give him a new name, he was just Nuke wearing Bane’s mask. Venom was apparently left out of the Amalgam event but Carnage and Bizzaro were merged into…

Three seconds of film that’s better than all eleventeen MCU movies so far, and I like most of those MCU movies.

He was actually an Avenger for a hot minute, albeit on one of the many spinoff teams they have these days. He made his first appearance with the team wearing a knock-off, pink-and-green Spider-Man costume because he was a secret weapon or something. They don’t print that series anymore, either.

I haven’t seen this many adult men work so hard to avoid being touched since Comic Con! WHOA!

It gets better: According to the interview, Lucas’ original idea for Episode VII was Luke explaining to Leia the Jedi method for holding your breath in space and floating in zero-gravity. It would have been presented as a single shot, one-take, in real time, and the audience would have been presented with copies of…

That film? You guessed it, “The Pest” starring John Leguizamo.

“..once I blow your organization through, uh, let’s just say, social media hell?”

Yes, the song part is funny, but I’m marveling at “Lowest Hispanic numbers in the history of our country!” Like there’s a counter in the Oval Office just labeled “Hispanics” he watches all day and gets excited when it dips.

“I’m gonna kill you all kinds of dead.” That’s a line that couldn’t possibly appear in any other kind of movie, and I respect “The Spirit” for that.

It isn’t just that scene - Batman v Superman puts Superman in front of a Congressional hearing, which would be a perfect opportunity for everyone to hear Superman state in his own words why he’s Superman. Instead, everything explodes before he has a chance to say anything. The DCEU movies are filled with moments where…

Injustice is a better Batman v. Superman than “Batman v. Superman,” but the problem is that Injustice is predicated on all of those characters having long histories together. The DCEU wanted the fight between its two biggest icons to be the beginning.

My friends and I watched “Top Gun” so many times in high school but almost never watched any of it after Goose died. What would be the point?

Guardians of the Galaxy 2: “That guy may have been your father, but he wasn’t your daddy.” If I hadn’t adopted my son, there would be absolutely no reason why Henry: Portrait of a Goddamn Serial Killer painted like a fucking Smurf could make me mist up, but there it is.

Google “Dick Van Dyke Chappaquidick.”

NOTE: ROSEANNE DIED ON THE WAY BACK TO HER HOME PLANET

The player will have to be determined to have made a “socially conscious move” while in the action of kneeling.

I have mellowed out considerably from my younger days, and my priorities are now aligned to be more of what society expects from a man my age. Nevertheless, the one thing that will trigger my Star Wars Manchild Fanboy Rage to this day is Dash Rendar. Fuck you, Dash Rendar, fuck you right in your Outrider, you…

The problem was that WB and their shareholders had placed this on the schedule and penciled “FIVE shit-tons of money” next to it. It’s not so much about how it actually performed as much as it was how it compared to what the studio expected it to perform.

I hadn’t thought of that, but that would make a lot of sense. They even tried it out in the comic books recently. Make it extra-weird and have Stark be the Vision’s on-board AI companion.