“Read my FULL letter of resignation and see that “Hate Wins” and bullies care about themselves than kids needing music.”

Well of course it wasn’t flagged as satire right away - satire is supposed to be funny.

All you need to know about Shadows of the Empire is that there’s a scene where Luke starts thinking about Leia and has to talk himself out of getting a boner. In the novel, at least, I don’t know if that made it to the comic. The rest of it is some garbage about DASH RENDAR, the Poochie of Star Wars.

Weirdly enough, Jeff Goldblum reprises his role from the original, raising the question of whether this is a reboot of the series or merely an alternate timeline. I’m told the Telltale game is going to shed some light on this.

Now this is some DARK rage.

Folks, the answer is simple:

It’s depressing that so many people’s takeaway from 9/11 was that extremism looked like a lot of fun.

Deputies also have been instructed to fire their rifles into the air at random intervals and scream, “YOU’RE SAFE!” to remind students that they are being protected.

I’ve got it.

Because obviously the “rational” response to any mass shooting is to nod your head gravely and say, “Well of course these dead people are the price we must pay for our Constitutional rights” and then buy another gun. Anything else is a nakedly political ploy to exploit a tragedy for nefarious purposes.

But what I really want to do is crisis-direct.

Come on, man, you know how: the DEEP STATE. It’s how Trump can continue to be the anti-establishment hero even after taking control of the establishment. It turns out there’s ANOTHER establishment even higher up than the establishment! Kind of like how it turned out Cobra Commander was actually taking orders from some…

I stopped watching while they were stuck in that town that was having zombie gladiator fights or whatever because I realized (way later than I should have) that this was going to be the show’s formula until the end of time. Group finds another safe haven, get comfy, some asshole fucks it up, big shootout/zombie rush,…

We need “incredibly high standards” for anyone who would be packing a gun in a school? Doesn’t Mrs. Kushner know that having “incredibly high standards” for gun ownership is, in fact, socialism and the worst type of treason against the ideals of freedom and liberty a tyrannical communist government can inflict on its…

You’re right, of course - Steel was me being snarky more than anything. Batman & Robin makes for an interesting comparison with the 1989 Batman because it contains many of the same elements - controversial casting of big-name actors, emphasis on production design over plotting, massive merchandising and marketing…

I figured Spawn might be the obvious choice, but Steel is interesting because of its status as a kind of vanity project for Shaq. We were all about giving NBA stars their own movies in the 90s.

I enjoy the MCU movies well enough, but I miss the overwrought production design of 90s comic book movies sometimes. Nobody wants to raise the spectre of Schumacher’s “nipples and codpieces” aesthetic, and now costumes are all military surplus and backdrops are all concrete and rebar.

1995 - Tank Girl(?) probably Batman Forever, though

“I have a particular set of spidey senses...”

That was pretty much my takeaway from this - “I’m glad they finally let those kids out of that room they were always stuck in.”