I don't know, every time I try to watch Hamlet it hurts too much.

^^

HEY-EE!!!

I'm finding more and more that the things I dislike the most about this country today can all be traced back to hippies in some way.

Wait, why the hell ISN'T this movie titled "Viet Kong?"

When you buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup! That's how hard times have been in this town since the mill closed down…

132 MINUTES.

A few weeks ago DirecTV called me out of nowhere to tell me I was a great customer and they were going to give me HBO free for a year. I said thank you, and a few days later I had HBO. Then my bill comes, and I'm being charged $15 for HBO. I call the help line (on a Sunday afternoon, this is how pissed I was) and the…

Anytime I hear anyone talk about how they want to see the government run "like a business," I always want to ask them how much they like their cable company. But I don't, because who has the time?

It seems like everything that's wrong with the world right now is due to people with strong opinions about Digimon.

"Whow, I get laid a lot in dis movie!"

I keep waiting for someone to offer John DiMaggio a development deal for "Gay Guy and the Ghost."

I didn't get a "harrumph" outta that guy!

It always struck me as so sad that they gave the "robot" a Twitter account where some lame social media stooge would issue weak burns on people who thought giving a fake football robot a Twitter account was a stupid idea.

If MLB is concerned about drawing in new fans, that's a marketing problem rather than a gameplay problem. Football can be just as boring with all the stoppages and penalties and Jay Cutler, but the NFL has packaged itself as more exciting. Baseball has a tweedier, more bookish vibe that it's allowed to take hold by…

Man, baseball just can't compete with the explosive, bone-crunching excitement of football!

When we return to our planet, the high court may well sentence you to TORT-CHAR!!!

It's a resurrection of a cult TV show that was cancelled almost 20 years ago, financed almost entirely by donations - it can't help be anything but fanservice. And that's fine.

Cedar lattice…works every time!

Roses are red