Worst excuse:

Did you guys like, go to a fancy restaurant and sing in parade, or what.

I live by my naps, and I have left at the last minute for soooo many things — work, school, parties, meetings, interviews — with blanket or pillow marks all over my body. My family calls them "nerd marks" for some reason.

As a child my sister used to get out of doing stuff by saying, I can't. My hair hurts." It was her go-to excuse.

I worked with a young girl who called in sick one morning. I told her to get some rest and to let me know if she needed anything. Her reply floored me.

This one is awful but it's one of my favorite stories from high school. Keep in mind this was pre-cell phone days. My best friend was out sick from school one day. I'm in 2nd period and get called to the principals office and told my grandmother fell down the stairs (also keep in mind this was my evil…

"I ran out of magnum condoms so I'll just have to pull out..."

A friend's former co-worker and I had gone out on two dates, but after that, I realized that I just wasn't that interested. I did the grown up thing and explained that while he seemed to be a nice individual, I just didn't want to continue things. I figured I wouldn't hear from again and we would move on with our…

Worst honest excuse I've ever given. "Sorry, I can't go to the party with you because I can't sit in a chair."

Whenever I tell the 2 year old I take care of to do something, her excuse is always "nooooo, my tummy hurts in my eye".

My best friend had organised to meet a dude she'd met on MySpace. She was well nervous and asked me to chaperone in case he was a murderer. My boyfriend was on call to provide a bail out excuse if needed.

my grandfather was dying, most of the family was gathered around, and his wife of 48 years went to bed because "she needed to be refreshed in the morning".

Dad: "Hey, I need you to take out the garbage."

Omg. Once I went to Vegas on kind of a whim and knew I wouldn't be able to get the time off approved so I just....went anyway. My boss calls me and I go "I was sure I emailed you. I guess I just forgot to send the email after writing it. Oops!"

From a student last week:

3 of my Ex's wanted to meet me at a diner (we were all friends at this point but my parents were going through a brutal & messy divorce & I was in no mood for anyone). " I can't come" I said. "My moms lupus is flaring up badly & I have to take her to the ER". "Stefan...." They replied. "We just saw your mom at the…

A coworker once said she couldn't come into work because she was too upset over other-employee getting pregnant before her when she had been trying forever and the other employee did it accidentally.

"I got arrested"