My parents had sex while I was in the womb and now I’m a bad driver. Also, someone was speaking in the delivery room so I’m incapable of love.

“You’re talking about it wrong, says someone who’s willing to portray themselves as even more self-righteous than you are.”

I just...what?

Maybe this is a lesson in how not to write a headline, because at least this person posted and  thus highlighted the miss-interpretation, but there could be dozens, if not hundreds more that go on their merry way, not reading the comments and not reading the article, yet believing the same manufactured version of…

My bad.

You know, I’m sort of starting to believe that the girl-girl porn world isn’t the feminist forward utopia I’d always assumed.

Jesus Christ.

PLAYING BASEBALL WHEN ACCIDENTALLY STRUCK OWN TESTICLES SWINGING A BAT

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS

ENHANCE!

Dear Mom,

Or it’s an attempted defense for every creep making/appearing in child pornography.

I cut Sudfeld with phosphorous and iodine to make meth. 

I’m not giving up anything. I’m ADDING stuff. More education, more skills, more interaction. Also, my much younger friend knows very little Queen, Led Zeppelin, or David Bowie music so I am making him some playlists. Such fun! Feel free to offer suggestions. I’m starting with having him watch Queen’s Live Aid…

He’s so stupid. Just, so, monumentally stupid. It’s hard to process. He’s so stupid that you think no way could anyone be that stupid, let alone become that powerful while being that stupid. And then boom. Even stupider. It must piss off a lot of his co-workers that he’s drawing attention to how powerful a privileged…

• Ugh, great. [New York Times]

It’s the emperor’s new wall.

can they really not see this is all being started by a case of ESPN sucking its own dick?

“making grim meals out of its own excrement”

Man.  I am definitely going to steal that. 

I believe he’s trying to criticize what he perceives as a hagiography, with a time-honored retort to hagiographies: dude, what about all the other people who stepped in to make X happen? Which isn’t unknown; how many times have we seen some unvarnished worshipping of Abraham Lincoln’s freeing of the slaves, without…