Now you're just blowing my mind.

You can feel him doffing his fedora through the ether.

Perfect. Want some now but husband is cooking. Thank you for not picking on my lousy spelling. I want to make some great excuse like - i've been hacked by really subtle trolls (not true) or the baby kept me up all night (only slightly true) - but I can't...

Want, need recipie.

Dump these asshats. Some people are great at faking friendship until they think they are moving onto something better. Life can only be better without them.

Hi,

I've just read about your health problems and I'm sorry for the sharpness of my first reply. I'm sorry that your employer has such disgusting sickness policies.

It's almost as if there were laws against leaving sick kids alone at home for the day. Of course we all know that looking after sick kids is a holiday for parents. I'm sure they feel very sorry for you while they clean up sick and snot all day.

It's not enough. What about a pox and bedbugs?

If I could star this twice....

Good for you for recognising it and for stopping. So many people don't bother.

Sometimes I think my weight is my way of weeding out the arseholes.

I don't know where to begin in thanking the US for taking Piers off our hands. I was hoping you'd eat him alive but this slow descent into mere attention seeking is just as good.

I think they do. (Although I do think people sometimes exaggerate when they fall into the old 'men and housework' conversational rut.) There some families in our neighbourhood where the dads can't put the kids to bed as it's too big a change in their routine.

It's sad how proud I am of my fella for doing his fair share of housework. It's also sad how shocked people are when I tell them how he helped with our newborn overnight while I recovered from a caesarean (We split it more 50/50 now). Seriously, I couldn't get out of bed without help for two days. Are there really men…

Don't let it get to you. The Daily Mail is pure evil and they manage to bring the worst out in everyone.

Are these people Europeans? We have our fair share of arseholes. The French bigots are the most elegant. British bigots lack their sense of style but can eat a spotted dick without any discernable irony.

There's a film in there somewhere.

Just reading makes me need a shower.

Your use of language is a beautiful thing.