You bastard! (lol)

Still better than being a millionaire and using beats headphones.

If it were me I would’ve vacated all of Bama’s national championships …

Great, so now we're giving frogs autism?

This one’s the best because of the two casually working in the background.

“Yes, Laura. This month saw an increase in patient intakes by 6% and Susan is currently giving Robert an epic blowjob. Any questions?”

I think they knew exactly what they had, which is someone who put up 178 yards and 2 picks, someone who can give the ball to CJ, someone who can throw screens.

if the Daily Show has taught me anything it’s that replacing a middle-aged man with someone named Trevor is going to be a disaster.

All I can say is thank CHRIST they penalized that one guy for jumping up and down after his team scored a touchdown. We need to keep that sort of behavior in check.

Realtor, from the Latin “realtus” which means “to add no value to a transaction”

Leroy Hoard who had an all-time fat back quote: “If you need one yard, I’ll get you three. If you need five yards, I’ll get you three.”

I’m horrified to learn how many of you sad bastards visit Buffalo Wild Wings often enough to have a nickname for it.

Too soon!

I don’t think they blew their assignments. I think they just weren’t good enough and the Panthers were dumb to assume they could take those guys 1 on 1. Also not sure why Von Miller being on a rookie deal should matter at all.

They could have kept the franchise tag and paid him $15 million for his age 28 season, which would have been really helpful in trying to win now while you still have this “best roster” intact.

No. They have three Matthew Staffords.

Install your phone upgrade.

To be fair, I think the Browns are usually in Win-Now-Or-We-All-Get-Fired mode which is a kind of Win-Now.

Don’t judge until you see how they screw up the draft pick.

I’ll just say this: there are few things I’m looking forward to more than the 2017 edition of “Why Your Team Sucks: Minnesota Vikings.”