ugh..Innes...

By coincidence, today’s top piece on Jezebel was also the Rockets’ best offer for Dwight Howard:

Drew Magary dresses like a 4th grade latchkey kid but still has more sartorial sense than black athletes.

Eww her shoes are on the pillow

Woo guy? I hate woo guy.

Am I the only one hearing some guy let out a sustained moan everytime Denver’s offense goes to the line of scrimmage?

don’t try searching on bing for the person to kill. you’ll never never find them.

Gatesgate.

When my brother was a meat salesman, he worked with a guy from High Point. He would always say with pride, “I’m from High Point. I don’t FUCK AROUND.” He also had herpes, so clearly he did fuck around.

Because the NFL is governed by rules and everyone has to follow them unless they play for the Patriots.

That’s the most chocolate Brooklyn has had in it since 1993.

I wish I had a quarter million worth$750K.

A safe would be a wise investment. Also a wise investment: not buying a fucking diamond Hennessey logo.

Don’t you need to be storing syrup for the winter?

I really thought this was going to be the story of a guy yelling, “Han Solo is killed by Kylo Ren, who’s his son” on his way out of the theater to the group waiting for the next show to begin, a la the “Dumbledore dies” guy.

I didn’t think someone could live up to the douchiness of a name like Penn Holderness but he does it masterfully

John Mara, what are you doing on Kinja?