I haven’t seen a bigger asshole since Goatse

Allen Hurns is the type of guy who simply makes plays. For example, in his touchdown catch today he ran a perfect route and somehow emerged from two defenders who went for the ball. Nothing special, just getting the job done. A-Rob on the other hand is a specimen. He plays with an attitude of a player who knows he’s…

I know, who wants to die without their bloody feces using the subjunctive?

And cheating. Long history of cheating.

Dude. You just described Deadspin.

“I AGREE THAT IT’S THE ONLY INTERESTING THING TO HAPPEN IN THE NFL LAST SEASON, THANK YOU.”

Does Magners (Bulmers) not count as a hard cider because it’s not super sugary? That’s my go-to cider. The worst is when the bartender doesn’t know how to pour it and you get two ice cubes in a pint glass...

Are Magners and Strongbow hard to come by in the cider aisle anymore? I would take either of those over any of these.

For be fair, Kaepernick wasn’t so much benched FOR Gabbert so much as Gabbert stood up so that Kaepernick would have somewhere to sit.

That’s the thing, Gabbert has the experience to lead this team to a 2-14 finish.

I will certainly grant you he’s not as bad as Smith, Bayless, Rovell, etc. in that, in small doses and with no frame of reference, Berry probably is likable. Those other guys take about 5 seconds to establish how miserable they are and you don’t need an ounce of context to make the determination.

Goddammit why am I so attracted to Ashleigh Banfield

I fucking HATE Mike Pereira. “Well ask Tyler Eifert and ask Dez Bryant....”

“That’s a first rate queso dip...”

Honestly, this is the Lions’ fault for putting the game in the officials’ hands. This has been talked about ad nauseam for months, but when you only need to get one yard inside the red zone, you give the ball to Marshawn Lynch every fucking time.

Now the Niners have two Colins that stink.

This is the face of a man who can’t figure out how a paperweight works.

It should be "defecation". Sorry.