Not sure which is worse - scheming to bean this kid until she quits or the fact that they discussed it within earshot of other people like it was totally normal. (alright, the first part is worse)

“How many times do we have to say this? You don’t have to pay them anything! Just give them some vouchers for a few classes and it’s cool. Seriously.”

“An element of comedy and danger makes Bortles must see TV every Thursday after NCIS. Only on CBS!”

With apologies to the Simpson’s John Updike, dog is like “We talked about this backstage and I said ‘No’.”

Even those rare times when I sort of get what he’s going for, he just butchers simple lines so badly that I end up even angrier that he didn’t just take five minutes to practice what he was going to say.

Dude weirdly looks like a CGI character in this photo. ALL ABOARD THE UFC EXPRESS!!

Spicer seems like a million years ago.

Those codes are about heritage not hate!

The tragedy is that nothing written here should be considered a particularly hot take. Yet for at least 63 million Americans, this is a mind-blowing concept.

I wish Kinja offered an Angry Star option for posts such as this. Well done.

There is only ice cream cake, then the void.

That’s my favorite part! Their conspiracies don’t hold up even to the slightest whiff of reality. Yet, they believe!

A conspiracy for every occasion!

“There is a whole plot in our nation and in the nations of the world...”

(I was too lazy to photoshop in the Cracker Barrel logo)

I can’t believe I hadn’t seen that pic before. That is glorious!

It’s all we can do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Right? With all the murdering she’s done while in the spotlight I can’t imagine how many killings she’s done since the election. Gotta be at least two before breakfast. I’ll be stunned if anyone on this thread is alive tomorrow...

They love the idea of being clever and witty but that takes effort and they really just want to get to the yelling.

I’d say they learned the hard way that you can’t parody a parody except learning isn’t really their thing.