It would have been such a better year if none of us knew about MSD, if those kids had only ever been on stage at their school at this point in their lives, and if that drama teacher had only ever had to figure out how to deal with her costume closet, not keeping students alive in a closet.

I was going to say...Colbert has performed in Broadway productions with actual Broadway singers and stars...and held his own.

Hi! Dan from Deadspin here. I have some information to add so the Jezebel commenters can make an informed decision.

This whole ensemble (including Thought To Be A Make-Up Artist with her metallic pants and bangs/knots) screams mid-90s and I am so here for it all

A source tells E! the two “met through friends at a dinner party and hit it off” earlier this year. Said another source, “He was a billionaire. She, uh, wasn’t. Can I make it any more obvious?”

My logical mind was eye-rolling. My tear ducts spilled over, completely.

Elon Musk and Grimes?

Happy to see all these comments about Kurt’s guitar because AGREE what a dick! Also - she is fucking gorgeous.

Underneath the hair plugs and the jillion dollars, Musk is really just an aspie tech nerd bro. He’s just as awkward as all the other Silicon Valley dudes I dated for four months.

Obligatory for all Kirsten Dunst items:

You’re supposed to use the period blood to fingerprint your calendar obviously.

I think William and Catherine have done an excellent job with making the monarchy relevant to modern day society. So has the Queen, actually. Some examples: The Queen changed the Succession to the Crown Act so that a female heir to the throne isn’t bumped down the line in the event of the birth of a male sibling (she…

It’s wedding tailgating.

ok, well I ran out of soy sauce (which is my usual salmon marinade) and I actually have honey and ginger so....I am here for Kourtney’s meal plan app. (I mean, I won’t download it, but I will read one sentence about it and then google “salmon honey ginger glaze.”)

You know, it is weird that Blake can be divorced this long, be deep into another relationship, and still have his nose so far in Miranda’s sexual business. I know guys like this and I’ll tell you this much—if Blake wasn’t famous, he’d probably have a restraining order on him by now. Dudes who won’t let go are scary…

I think you mean Mountbatten down the hatches...

I’m going to pretend they named him after Louis XIV. The Sun King is back bitches, batten down the hatches at Versailles!

I had consensual sex with the guy who raped me. I didn’t want to admit to myself that the dude I thought was a great guy was a rapist. And I bought his weak excuse, because I wanted to believe he was a great guy. Women don’t want bad guys, we want good guys. We want good guys so much, we’ll try to convince ourselves…

I got into Chopped because I heard Marc Maron gushing about it years ago on his podcast. It’s perfect mindless entertainment and I love the judges.