Everybody loooooooved my ex. But of course they would—they never saw him “in one of his moods” aka when he was apt to start throwing things and threatening to kill himself if I left. In public, he was everybody’s best friend, the life of the party, etc, so I always cringe when people say stuff like Bettany just did.…

Oh god. Whatever. Unless you are whipping them out and showing them to her, the fact is that she’ll see a man’s back standing at a urinal. If she’s a curious girl (and most children are) she might stare (good time to teach a child not to) and look to see a flacid penis mostly covered by a dude’s hands/pants, peeing…

Eh, I don’t think men make a big deal out of displaying their dicks in the bathroom. Most folks just want to pee and get out. I think she is far more traumatized by this raging maniac trying to beat up her dad than she would have been by a glimpse of penis.

Don’t think too hard about it. Just sit back and think of how beautiful the world is that two people born with backwards feet can find each other... and find love.

I’m pretty sure they’re black and gold??

YOU ALL GOT YOUR GD DIRT BAG

I know there’s a comic book villain billionaire out to destroy Gawker Media, and y’all lost a motion in court yesterday so you’re probably having an all hands on deck meeting with staff... but that really is no excuse to delay Dirt Bag.

Today on Blind Gossip, the story of a male singer who—though on a public road to redemption—allegedly acted like a total nightmare while visiting a bar with his bodyguards and entourage. Who could it be?

I’m trying to think of a situation where you need your gun with you just before you take a shower, but not while you are in the shower.

Sweet angels getting shot because idiotic adults live in a world where they think a Liam Neeson adventure is waiting for them.

She’s going to cherish her memory of being on the show and high school will fade away for her like it does for everyone else.

“...slips back into coma”

This will ensure any woman who considers reporting a sexual assault remains in her terrified silence for all eternity.

hey, you know who that cat like almost exactly like?

She went on to say, “Oh yes, I am most certainly a real person tra la la! All humans speak in this manner, do they not?”

Riiiiiiiiight? Mmm. Less Major, MORE RAVIIIII.

I vividly remember the cargo pants episode and how they were so bewildered by the functional pockets.

i used an email exchange from this morning as a template, hahaha