I’m a faceless nobody on the Internet and oh my goodness I know how you feel. I am so alone. I can’t unsee everything. I am a woman and I am not a person according to this life. Girl babies thrown out with trash acid in the face of a girl wanting to learn to read seventy cents for every dollar the men make rape is…

I go to bed annoyed with these people and wake up the same way.

That’s too bad because I’m using Amy Poehler for WORST celeb encounters. Hate to burst your bubble but I waited on her once at a restaurant and this little girl came up to ask for an autograph. Amy took her steak knife, plunged it into the girls throat, and then proceeded to cut out her heart and eat it with A1 sauce.…

I went to St. Andrews for university, so we had quite a few golf-loving celebs come through, especially during the Dunhill Cup. At one point I went out with a couple of my friends from hall to go watch some of it, and it was just as boring as you’d expect from, y’know, golf. So we’re talking about how boring it is and…

Show me that smile again/don’t waste another minute on your cryin’/we’re nowhere near the end/the best is ready to beeee-gin! Oooh hoo!

I wonder if she asked him if he knew who she is, as she has with other municipal workers in the past.

Nope. She means well but it feels condescending.

“I am a pleasant human person. I have a likeable persona and I do nice things. I do not scream at police officers. I single out humble municipal workers as a totally natural and not at all calculated thing. I am definitely not counting the minutes till I can go home and bathe your plebian filth off of my body. I am so…

No. She turned a person into a prop for some reason.

i can’t stop thinking about this tweet

I died. You killed me. x.x LMAO

They’re not, sorry :(

So it’s okay for Joan to kiss people’s asses on the red carpet and then say on Fashion Police they look like a warmed over turd, but Kathy saying Joan’s comedy was old fashioned is “shitting on Joan’s memory”?

I’ll defend some of the cats in this video a bit - cats generally hate balloons and hats, so of course they’d freak out.

Years of bottled up X-Files sexual tension dissolved in one moment.

“This did make us aware that we need some kind of abstinence or sex ed program,”

As am I. I really like Selma Blair and enjoy her work. I hate to see her play such a tacky person. I wonder who is playing Faye Resnick.

Oh I read that as emotionally, naked. Ha

Well this is irritating.

Wash your mouth out. Dolly Parton! Loretta Lynn! Tammy Wynette! The Dixie Chicks! June Carter! Gillian Welch!