I just bought what must be the Target version of this scoop and holy hell I’m never going back to plastic scoops. Best $10 I ever spent.

Given that Trump’s lawyer spent yesterday arguing in front of SCOTUS that the president should have immunity from legislative oversight, I would be completely unsurprised if he tried to postpone the election and took that to the Supreme Court as well because fuck the constitution.

I want you to be wrong but I know you’re not and now I want a drink at 10am.

I have a few friends in this camp and I get it! It’s probably comforting to believe that there’s some rhyme or reason to this as opposed to the fact that terrible things happen in nature all the time and we’re figuring this out as we go along.

To be fair, we can’t blame scary brown people and start a war over this one so...best not to trouble yourself too much about it.

The death toll could reach the 10's of millions and these assholes would all still be patting themselves on the back because there is literally no way they’d ever admit to any kind of failure…

9/11 -> A horrible tragedy with far-reaching consequences.

A virus that kills a 9/11's worth of people a day -> Something we have totally under control, everything’s fine, go lick your neighbor and get back to work.

I think a lot of these Fox News types buy into their own bullshit and they see this administration as someone who takes them seriously so they might be able to leverage that into some real power and be able to affect the kind of terrifying change they want.

I have never understood how Hope Hicks landed at the White House

I remember when Bush was president, and the frustration I felt that someone so inarticulate was representing us to the world. Those truly were simpler times.

I’m really hoping that this demonstrates the fact that elections have consequences, because there are people mourning their loved ones right now because of Trump.

Counterpoint: People love distractions. It’s why entertainment spending goes up during times of crisis.

That being said, it’ll be really interesting to see how a $1000 phone sells in the economic aftermath of all this.

That was my thought. When people are willing to risk their lives to vote you out, you’re fucked.

She is absolutely correct and I’m glad you have such a qualified professional to defer to in these important matters.

I came here to stan mini-eggs and I’m glad this article came to the correct conclusion that they’re the superior Easter candy. Perfect for stress-eating during a global pandemic.

That’s a bingo.

Big tough President boy gets to look big and tough without actually doing anything. It’s his favorite.

WAIT WHAT?

At every stage of this whole coronavirus response, I’m being given new reasons to say to myself “we’re super fucked, aren’t we?”

Nah, Jon Snow married Ygritte. She’s marrying Legolas.

Get those sexy ladies out of here! I need to see something wholesome, like millionaires giving each other brain damage.

Holy shirt they’ve been together for 19 years and have 3 children. Good for them.

“finna” translates to “gonna”.