Someone brought their toddler to Django, and then a (hopefully) different person brought their toddler to Die Hard. Twice in a row I went to the movies, at two different theaters, and someone brought their fucking toddler. Nothing enhances a viewing experience like a screaming kid.

I feel like if my indicator light ever came on while I was sitting at my computer, I would just go find my cat and give them an eyeful of some cat asshole.

Don't know if it qualifies as a deal, but Borderlands 2 is 50% off on XBOX live, along with a few others.

THERE ARE NO HANDOUTS IN AMERICA! BOOTSTRAPS! USE YOUR BOOTSTRAPS!

Roadies are assholes, pretty much everyone who's into cycling but isn't into road-biking thinks roadies are assholes. My boyfriend's a huge bike nerd that's way into mountain biking, he's taken me mountain biking and I've met a lot of mountain biking people through him, they've been nothing but cool to me and they're…

I remember thinking Cupid was such a fox, now I know why.

I'm the same way with just the packets of oatmeal, I started getting creative with it a while ago and found that using the plain oatmeal and adding a splash of almond milk and a spoonful of peanut butter, along with some honey, cinnamon, and frozen berries, makes it filling (and delicious). It keeps me going well into…

It just reminds me of Brucie in GTA IV.

"Boyfriend Tracker"? Pfft, I keep it old school...two car-lengths away, wig and sunglasses. Trust is for pussies.

There's all kinds of dangerous information that they could fill their delicate lady brains with! Everyone knows a woman's brain can't handle that.

Why do all pro-life websites look like someones mom made them with Geocities? I just can't take that shit seriously.

Don't you see that they NEED those signs? Otherwise how will women know what abortion actually is? I thought it was a weirdly invasive manicure.

Weren't they trolling here at one point?

I'm convinced Kim Jong Un is the real-life Joffrey Baratheon.

You get right out of here with those fancy schmancy facts of yours!

Did she seriously trademark "I speak feline"?

Yes, that is the face of a man who organizes gang bangs for a living.

31 dudes? I hope she took some pee breaks, UTI's are a bitch.

Something like that happened in Florida, too. I thought roadside cavity searches were illegal? And using the same glove for both? That's just fucking gross. All kinds of nasty infections could have happened.

That was just a list of services available to women. Pretty sure men have access to HIV screenings as well, and given that it is preventative care, it's probably free.