Thank. You. For. Saying. This.

I've said it before, but I just can't stay on the Paul Walker Grief Train knowing about his penchant for teenagers. It's still sad that he died, of course, but this huge outpouring is unnerving. Let's just say the sadness is tempered by a full-body skin crawl.

I like how Kendall and Kylie aren’t just not dressed for church they appear to be dressed for two completely different occasions and/or weather conditions.

I can’t stop laughing. Cats are such assholes. I thought my cat was an asshole for vomiting on my pillow (while I was away) but THIS is just so much worse. I’m so sorry!

OMIGAWD! I too have a clawfoot (reproduction but still cast iron and porcelain - it was my must have for my bathroom remodel) and I have a Siamese that absolutely must play with the bubbles and one of these days I’m afraid he’s going to fall in and slice open my femoral artery trying to get out.

Green eggs and blam!

I have THE BEST BATHTUB in the world. It’s an antique iron, claw foot tub. When you fill it up with hot, hot water, the whole thing just radiates perfection. That bathtub is my refuge. That bathtub is my Fortress of Solitude. That bathtub makes awful days into cathartic tub cries.

I also love that they thought a pregnant woman passed out and started having a seizure AND STILL GAVE HER NO ASSISTANCE! Life is precious, my ass.

Alright, I’ve never posted anything on Jez but I can’t resist this one-

One Friday at a college quad event I was two Four Lokos into my journey of mid-day inebriation and was refusing to get out of the rented dunk tank (which was THE FUNNEST THING IN THE WORLD when both trashed and hyper-energized). Long story short, after 20 minutes of being violently dropped and jostled I obviously…

I think I’ve got the creme de la creme. When I was 12, my family took a trip to Disneyworld. The first day there we did the usual rides, food, etc. (Tower of Terror is the shit!!!!). While waiting in line for The Great Movie Ride I started getting a little groin pain. At first I thought I just really needed to pee.…

(I am writing this on behalf of my dog).

Or maybe she was always on top and wouldn’t let him touch it?

If Kate Middleton ever got rid of her amazing hair for a Mom Cut I would legit cry

I'll be 59 this year and still have my hip length auburn hair (I'm like my mum- just a few grey hairs here and there)- and GASP, I even wear it down lots! I don't care what anyone else thinks- I have great hair and am not ashamed to wear it long!

I'm 54 and have curly hair to the middle of my back. I tried a short hair cut years ago, and it made me feel like a guy. Didn't like it. At all.