spanther22a

5/2/17

“Nothing happened” is, by far and away, the most common “consensual sexual event” in my house.

4/17/17

you don’t keep a healthy supply of them on hand at all times for exactly these kinds of situations? I keep one in the car, one in the garage, and two at work. That annoying guy at the mall that gets too close when waiting for your parking spot: he gets a rat in the face. Regional manager visiting at work “just…

4/6/17

Sebastian gorka is pretty much Mike from Spaced....

12/3/16

i do this sometimes with frozen strawberries.

12/2/16

PEDANT ALERT: Aren’t those “bollards”?

11/2/16

Heard it from a friend whoooooo...

11/1/16

You’re the one who chose to go behind the person with the full cart. That person owes you nothing other than to reasonably be prepared to pay quickly and smoothly.

10/24/16

The money shot...

10/24/16

ALMOST? Thanks, i’ll stop replaying the video over and over like I’m watching the Zapruder film. Saved me some trouble.

10/11/16

is that what the kids call it now? Cleaning the skillet?

10/2/16

YOU MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THIS SITE IS FOR THE AMERICAN BROS AND HERE WE ARE ONLY GUESTS, AND NOT MUCH LIKED AS WELL.

9/19/16

Admittedly a bone-head move by mom..... But cussin’ her out and acting like a little snowflake? I’d bet mom bought the motorcycle for the coddled prince, cooks his meals, does his laundry and makes his bed. If I treated my mom like that she’d run me over just to give me a real reason for swearing at her.

8/23/16

Oh, I see how it is. This guy can walk up to a kid on the mound and tell him “I love you” but when I do it at my local ball field, the cops are called. SMDH.

8/9/16

Nobody gives a shit about your bunk-ass oatmeal mush and your faux-foodspin writing voice. If you want savory oatmeal, learn how to cook risotto like a “grown-ass person.”

7/7/16

Is there a way that you can replace the author photo with of those cool holographic pics from the 90s? So when when we move the book, we see something like this:

7/6/16