As much as Trump makes me want to peel my skin off, I have to admit, it cracks me up that he can’t even remember his name and always calls him “Ray.”

Heinous!

AHA! Added to my list.

That made me laugh so hard. “It’s not that my opinions are garbage, it’s that women don’t know how to handle a man with opinions!” Ah yes, the rare unicorn of a man who has opinions...I don’t know if I, personally, have ever seen one in the wild!

SAME. Much I love the tawdriness of the wife-banging theory, lawn-mowing at 5 AM is totally a punchable offense. I mean...WHO DOES THAT.

Like, if you gotta be wearing earplugs to do it, whatever you’re doing at 5am is TOO LOUD.

RIGHT???!!! AND he has the nerve to wear earplugs. Boy if it’s too loud for your precious ears it is TOO LOUD for 5AM!

The part that gets me is the detail that Paul wore earplugs. Too loud for him, but fuck his neighbors. Living his libertarian values.

I would tackle a neighbor for doing this as well. Especially a repeat offender, as I’m sure this isn’t his first 5 a.m. mow-a-thon. You have to be a real monster to put your lawn ahead of the sleep of your neighbors. But we already know Rand is a monster.

It was super easy once we realized our kid didn’t want to spend time with them. She’s gotten old enough to have her own political opinions and realized that her grandparents were deplorable people. We told them we’d re-visit in 6 months. What they didn’t know was that we are monitoring their Facebook feed. When they…

Literally, look what they’re banned from:

Was Priti Patel’s embarrassment today or yesterday? These things all start blurring after a while.

I was literally on the edge of my seat here. Please, take a star.

This is a bullshit misinterpretation of Paul’s position, and frankly, it shows just how dishonest you libs are.

Rational self-interest told him to.

I’m not saying that he got caught fucking his neighbor’s wife but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that he got caught fucking his neighbor’s wife.

Poor Rand Paul; yet another victim of The Bowling Green Massacre.

Awesome! That lady’s a beast. For those who don’t speak climber: “send” means that she climbed the whole way up without resting on the rope or on any piece of gear attached to the rock. She essentially climbed using just her hands and feet with no assistance (though a rope was there for safety). Super impressive.

Hot takes can’t melt steel memes.

Or you can post a contrarian comment in Jezebel or The Root, then use all the hot takes to start a fire hot enough to melt steel.