My grandmother once told my mom that their old neighbors had moved to San Francisco, and were down the street from a very nice band. The Happily Buried.

And we could like.....give them little crescent moon pins to wear. Pardon me while I vomit.

I know it was a typo, but is maybe the best ever. “The ficus of all activism” just makes me think of the potted trees everyone seemed to have 10 years ago, and I can’t get the image of tiny gay activists living smurf-like under the foliage out of my head.

It came to me in a dream, and year later I realized I got it from Buffy. Kids LOVE her name.

Whatever dude. I'm a professional maker of the foods. The smell is so divorced from the taste it's not even funny.

Um, I have a feeling you have yet to try boiling balsamic. The heat intensifies the vinegar smell like crazy. It doesn't taste like vinegar, but it will fill your house with a harsh stench.

I don’t know what to doooooo! Except for the photographer, we are doing this very small wedding for under $3000 including our clothes and my engagement ring (shout out to etsy store Oore!) All the photographers near me (Reno) START at like $2000! Without physical copies! And I get it. It’s a skill, it takes work, I’m…

I hope this is correct. I have a really hard time separating my loathing of Abby from the actual human woman, and this helps.

I decided that the boy was marriage material when she started stealing his underwear as well. She thinks he's family, I agree.

Oh no! Is this a while you are still wearing it thing? Having my armpit licked.......blergewwyech.

Yup. We are getting a PS4 so the boy can play Battlefront. I’m just over here spending a month theorycrafting for Elder Scrolls Online. We’ll see who spends more time using it.

Oh my god now it's all I see! Giggles for the day, well done.

Hey, would you like stress and expense of treating severely ill teenager with an eating disorder? Keep thinking your 8 year old needs to diet.

Miss Monkeypants would beg to differ. Please note the silk shorts of shame I made her wear after she ate the crotch out.

My aim in 2000-ish was a book reference, but a fairly obscure one, laznlor, and I would get many random messages from Asian guys who thought it was “love Asian something.”

Let the music play!

Beige lip tar? Is what? For why?

Yes that joke still works.

If you don't live in a giant city, and you take everything with a grain of salt, it can be useful.

Oh! I thought it was like a “getting baked with Dusty Springfield, Ginger Baker and Jimi Hendrix” thing. Kinda close.