The year anniversary of this happening, and I’m doing alright. I spent this years holiday with my boyfriend’s totally fucked up family, and no on tried to kill me. Surprise! I feel like it was a success. My mom sent us gifts along with a card explaining that she can’t live without me, and I just have the capacity to…

i was coming here to post this.... I like em with some critical thinking skills....

DC Dec. 25th, t shirt and umbrella...something is very fucking wrong...

I’m so into this idea.

Grass even in Quebec is still fucking green.

Nice. I had to get myself more Obama Kush. It’s super chill and I also just really like the name. I’m pretty sure I’m still high from the Super Lemon Haze I smoked earlier. Legal weed is awesome.

My ex won’t let me see my daughter anymore because she’s seeing someone else so I’m gonna get really drunk and watch some long movies so it seems like the day goes quicker, merry Christmas

No practical jokes from me, but I realized today that trying to make whipped cream in a hot kitchen must feel just as tiring and useless as giving a hand job to a guy with ED.

A poem from the perspective of a fetus.

Forgot, I’m also just going to leave this here:

Id rather make money sucking on balls than being mean to people who are already bullied. and Im a lesbian so thats saying a lot.

I’m going to prank my whole church and family by showing up at the Christmas Eve service and pretending that I still believe a word of what they’re saying! Even going to take Communion.

I am being a pissypants grudge holder. I’m the one who wrapped all the presents, filled all the stockings (my own, too) and then my husband, who I am going to kill in his sleep, decided to let the kids open the stockings this morning when I wasn’t even in the goddamn room. He was playing WOW and decided letting the…

Ugh, I feel you. On a positive note, my mother didn’t cry today in attempts to take attention away from the infant. So there’s that. I am enjoying the hell out of my wine knowing that I don’t have to do this again until Mother’s Day. Whew.

I am flying 100% solo tonight. Just me and a pizza.

Die Hard is THE best Christmas movie. Ever.

Fucking Trekkies always complaining about Star Wars.

BREAKING: Vatican Fails to Properly Identify the Traits of an Actual Villain

A butthurt vegan!? What a find!