Ah, the Costanza Gambit: “Was that wrong? Is that sort of thing frowned upon?”

Antifreeze is a known carcinogen, so the cop feared for his life!

Sank when parked.

There’s suspension of disbelief, and then there's beating disbelief to death with a crowbar.

The family may come through unscathed, but it sounds like the laws of physics are brutally tortured and murdered again.

This can only go spectacularly well for everyone involved.

How can the penalty for nearly killing someone be the same as the one for merely having an unsafe load? Doesn’t Ohio have laws regarding reckless endangerment or even negligent property damage? This dipshit nearly killed two people, yet his “punishment” is a new set of straps and a ticket?

Abortion is against God’s Law. God wants every child to be born, with the unwanted ones dumped at “Mother & Baby” homes where they can be quietly starved and buried in mass graves. The rest are to be used as playthings for priests. This is the Word of the Lord. Amen.

Never mind that Midsomer has a murder rate that would put the average warzone to shame. I'm amazed it isn't a ghost town.

In totally unrelated news, the Metropolitan Police are, and always have been, utterly corrupt.

It’s simple grade-school conjugation:

I'd like to know about Crown Royal rates, because the ads for that take up half my phone screen when I'm trying to read this site.

What often gets glossed over is that her experience is a very Irish one. We’re a similar age and our upbringings were full of the same cloying religiosity and stark hypocrisy that passed for “normal” back then.

National Socialists are to socialism as American Cheese is to...food.

Yeah, I’ve always been leftie, but when I hit my fifties and particularly now I’m staring down the barrel of the big 6-0 (fuuuuuck!), I’ve shifted so far I’m half expecting an email from Noam Chomsky saying, “dial it back, dude.”

I think the young are less conservative, but they don’t vote. By the time they do get around to voting, they're middle aged conservatives.

I remember reading an article many years ago that said the Columbo format was a major factor in the show’s huge popularity.

I was ready to think “well, maaaaybe it was a good-faith error because someone didn’t read the rules correctly.”

That’s only true if you assume its a zero-sum game.

I believe it’s eating Mountain Dew-dipped Hot Pockets while watching reruns of “The Andy Griffith Show.”