What you're saying is you stole my shirt. RAGE.

Whatever. It's goddamn magnificent, is what it is.

Ok, I have to admit. You ARE a genius. That Hound on KFC bucket clinches it.

You won't be thanking me in a month or so when you're on a plane and CANNOT get the song out of your head, I'm afraid. :)

I think the Kittehs win the internet, dearest Chritter.

But... What shall become of the Sky Mall Kitties?!

Get out of my brain.

Ok, seriously — what is the fucking THEME?! This menu is all over the place. Like he got drunk one night (on tequila-drenched "chinks" perhaps?), thumbed through all his old cookbooks and went slap-happy with bookmarks to create this insanity.

C.A. really needs to start a tumblr with all the insane hate comments he gets. People get fucking WORKED UP about marshmallows. And I'm not talking the deliberately hyperbolic good-natured commenters — I mean legitimately ENRAGED internet strangers taking umbrage with his dislike of spicy cheese or whatever.

"BEHOLD. I bring you a MP'd Food Article and Thus, The Finest Trolls in the Universe. And the most offended fee-fees of foodies!"

Aaaand cue the countdown til someone asks, "What, you think you're a fucking genius because you hate Creme eggs?"

*BLUSHES*

"Distasteful as twincest dead kid church sex is..."

I would like to vote for that, also. YOUR PUBLIC DEMANDS THIS, Y'ALL.

What. in. the. pink. fuck.

In honor of this glorious news, Kelly, you really should change your name to 'Haircloth' for the day.

I JUST made Thai Chicken pizza last night and thought of you while making the peanut sauce!!

Harris & Olsen Agency, please hold.

They loved the shit out of the server's revenge tales and I always read them the Foods that Should Not Exist series. A couple of them remind me, impatiently, if I forget. :D

My students and I had the same reaction (yes, I sometimes read these aloud to them):