thank you for adding smoldering Jesus to this competition 

I prefer to think of this story as the Disneyfied, thinly veiled backstory for Lovecraft’s The Shadow Over Innsmouth. We’re finally getting the love story of Obed Marsh and his Deep One bride. Sure, Disney cleaned it up a bit, but at its heart, it’s still about sex with a mermaid.

This is clearly a Cecily Strong character cut from SNL for time...

Being straight

Sure, but will _anything_ evertop Vegan Bananapeople Drama?

at this point Americans have a hard time telling the difference because he’d probably be considered a centrist in the US at this point.

And, you know, Donald Trump did not understand, in the end, that just because we were friends didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be subjected to the proper scrutiny. Read more

There are millions of child-eating Americans who don’t care what the coastal elites think of their beliefs and lifestyles and just want to be left alone.

as sassy as a cup of low-fat yogurt with someone’s name written on it

You know what really bothers me? When people bug out about kissing kids on the lips. Not everyone does it but when people do, IT IS NOT SEXUAL. People cringing like there is a sexual element is icky. It’s icky! That’s a father and son, clean your head. Damn. Read more

I’m not racist. I have white friends. Namaste!

Indigenous folks on twitter are ripping this post, and rightly so.

It creates a truly authentic NFL experience when the fans can get CTE as well.

He was (maybe still is?) a sherrif’s deputy in Louisiana, Jefferson Parish. Not that I am agreeing with him on this or ANY point (or that serving in LE is defending the flag) just providing the info based on what I think he’s talking about. Read more

She better back off my man.

A little curious that, on Jezebel, you don’t take a person’s word for their gender and sexuality and make a quick conclusion based on a sample of 1 (willing or unwilling) sexual partner.

Younger me was the default I bet you won’t wear that guy. One Halloween we dressed a girl as Hugh Heffner and had me and two other guys dress as the girls next door (I was Kendra). Read more

Obligatory...

The only reason I’m sad about that possibility is because then we’d no longer get to see Bobby Moynihan play him!

What a time to be alive, when the Olympic soundtrack was brought to you by Philip Glass!!