What a time to be alive, when the Olympic soundtrack was brought to you by Philip Glass!!

Okay, you have The Shining, but to complete the picture you need:

accurate.

I prefer to text him 5o times while he is standing in the aisle.

All very true. I was, of course, joking.

I can’t even eat cereal for breakfast without becoming bored of the very concept of cereal or distaining the existence of milk after about three days. After a week of eating the same lunch every day I’d almost certainly be too nauseous to eat anything at all. The whole idea sounds ghastly.

With some hard work and hands-on tutorials, I could probably help him through Intro to Queer Studies...

And now she sells jewelry that looks like butts.

Man, that’s cruel:( Why wouldn’t her parents dispute that? They’re presents, she should be able to do whatever the hell she wanted with them.

“Hey, you’re black, right?”

You sir, are a wit and I share your sense of ironic shockrage. It is true that they have done some terrible things, but like France, Germany, England, Russia, Japan and the U.S. the UCC does exist and it is possible that they have learned from their mistakes. The inquisition was like 400 years ago or something. …

DO NOT drink out of the champagne fountain at the reception.

What a time to be alive!

Fan Mail more like Man Fail!