Ugh, she is the quintessential “born on third but thinks she hit a third” AND the quintessential “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”

Does your company need any sort of writer and/or administrative assistant??

I saw a commercial for this while watching Doctor Who and because I was already in a bad mood about previous stupid commercials, I was like “okay nothing about looks entertaining or, you know, redeemable.” Glad to see my initial reaction was mostly right. 

Thank you and happy holidays to the Takeout staff! :-D

I know he’s had problems with substance abuse and mental illness but every time I see him, in any capacity, he just looks like a walking STD. 

My whole reaction to that trailer was, “...What the everloving fuck”

Bojack Horseman had a great take on this in one of their Season 5 episodes. Diane calls out her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Mr. Peanutbutter (who’s about 12? years older than her) for dating and marrying younger and younger women the older he gets. His first wife was about his age, 30ish. His second wife was Jessica Biel…

Oh god yeah. I assume that he’s so coked up that if he ever stopped cold turkey (or just missed his 4 PM dose), his body would just immediately stop functioning because the shock would be too great. 

Synergy!

I like the frequent use of “empowering” in an email that’s all about decimating established professions. They may as well have said, “we’re ‘empowering’ you to take that first step in your exciting new career as Freelance Blogger with No Benefits or Even a Paycheck!!!”

I’m the weirdo who likes pickle spears as a side item, by themselves, but just CANNOT with pickle slices on sandwiches/burgers, warm pickle slices, etc. 

During my commute I’ll switch over to Philly’s AM news station, KYW because they have traffic reports every 10 minutes or so. But there’s probably some new paradigm-busting app that could replace that so yeah, sports AM radio is kind of an unholy nightmare that we should rid ourselves of.

I have a friend who got married to a guy she’d been dating for a few years. They’d lived together and before they met, she’d been on her own since shortly after high school. So she, and then she and the guy, definitely had an established household, right? Cue the bridal shower, where the registry is all…

Oh that doesn’t deter some of the more notorious bathroom talkers at my office, if my experiences in the ladies’ room are any indication. One coworker happened to use the bathroom while a Bathroom Talker (AND Loud Phone Conversation Haver) was having a loud cell phone conversation in said bathroom. Coworker flushed…

They both seem like very cool, nice dudes who are just out there living their best lives. Radcliffe’s cameo on Bojack Horseman was pretty great. Hamill is the main reason I haven’t totally given up on the Dark Crystal prequel show after 2.5 episodes. I could easily watch his and Simon Pegg’s Dark Crystal characters in…

Seriously, yes. It’s like the office Chad who somehow manages to tamp down his worst Chad tendencies in front of the CEO but then Chads out when he’s around everyone beneath him on the org chart. 

So that former ER doctor in the hotel bar is a FORMER doctor b/c he killed too many patients, right? Like, there’s no way you can be a successful (aka, not-killing-patients) doctor if you’re that stupid about how autism works. 

“drains deep threes in a swimming pool” this sounds like some new porn thing that’s going to be even weirder than all the stepfamily stuff

Aaaah, I didn’t know he was Mickey! Just another reason to love him/Bob’s Burgers

Not a doctor but I think what people forget/don’t know about menstruation is that in addition to the hormone stuff, general not-well feeling (because of cramps, GI distress, migraines, fluid retention, etc that can all make up PMS), and overall EXTRA-ness of getting your period, your body actually does need more…