But why does the stadium have ice?

But it’s free if you post a sub 4 second 40.

Wait...why does that building even have ice? The Xcel Center is right in St Paul.

Wait a minute

And the best part is, most of those courses are completely interchangable!

But did he win the bullshit island prize?

This ain’t my dad!

Shocking. Someone from Green Bay is a dumb racist.

It’s because he’s that fake superhero everyone creates when they’re like 6 who has all the powers, even ones not mentioned at first that were invented just to solve a problem (like his lipstick ray).

“I would do anything in my power to try and prevent that*”

Games during the opening weekend are often played in fairly empty buildings, especially for the earlier daytime games (which, coincidentally, don’t include the teams that would sell the most tickets).

For fucks sake you could drop a building on it and it’ll start up.

This really shoud be #1

I mean, we tried that about 20 years ago.

England was rucking pissed.

I’ve never hoped for a table to get massive food poisoning more.

Hey man, gotta spend that athletic money somehow, lest it go to the heathens in the public fund. Or worse, paying the players!

I’ll take the over.

I would literally fly to Japan if I could play real Mario Kart at the Universal park.

 I’m still 60% sure half of the postseason rule changes in the last 15 years were to increase Junior’s chances of making it.