Greg Smith is so humble, he lets his personal shoe-shiner call him "Mr. S".

As if the Tebow fanatics weren't terrified enough of these stories already ...

With his ear gone, the Migs coach suddenly found all of his other senses greatly enhanced. Especially, much to the shock of many of the team moms, his sense of smell.

This is really a win-win, the league gets the money it needs to stay in business and the strip club gets to write off the expense of its employee daycare provider.

I think you owe this guy an apology. They were actually talking about whether they should still pay to bring in The Monkees to headline their summer concert series.

Hey Dirk, can you settle a bet for me? I read somewhere that sometimes people call you "D.H,", but it didn't say why. I heard it started out as a nickname opposing teams gave you when you were on the mound, but my buddy says it's got something to do with your notorious road dog days with the ladies before you got…

Hey God, how 'bout maybe a tap on the shoulder next time?

If Paps had any sense of humor about this, he'd go with "Battery".

Ironically, all it took for investigators to unravel his scheme was some wicked googling.

Oh come on, Britain. If you don't want to invite Ali to your opening ceremonies, just say so.

You think you're annoyed now, Luke, wait til you find out how much Peter King makes.

What's that, me? You want some all-time classic live shit for us? Ok.

In a related grievance to crazyjoedavola's, I cannot accept the 2007 travesty of No Country for Old Men (a very, very good picture) over There Will Be Blood (a fucking GREAT picture) for Best Picture .

Strong stuff. Let's bring it on home, Shorty.

Friday Night Live DUAN

"But, Kevin ... I thought you said college-ruled?"

The Codfather

QUINNFERIORITY COMPLEX!

On the bright side, the Blazers were at least able to save a little bit of money by only needing to buy half of the splint.

He sure seems awfully forgiving about all this, considering he's so clearly being singled out as the scapegoat for this whole thing and publicly crucified by those scoundrels who actually control the media.