"Would you cut me? I'd cut me."

Eh, still not as bad as the time Kerry Collins wished he had less Buffalo Soldiers on his team and more Andrew Johnsons.

I've always thought Three Kings never fully got the respect it deserves. Original story, highly entertaining, and stunning cinematography blended seamlessly into the action.

Conspicuously missing: Brian Wilson and his famous beard, Jesus.

(FUCK - REDACT)

Say what you will, but there are very few teams who follow the Rooney Rule to the letter of the law as diligently as the Pacers in their pre-draft workouts.

Upset alert!

In retrospect, maybe that "W.W.J.C.D." bracelet he brought back from Kentucky wasn't just the cheap knock off everyone assumed it was.

Matt Damon telling the story of his brothers in the barn before the war: Possibly the best pure acting in a scene I've ever seen.

And now, for the first time in his career, Drake can officially be considered a person of interest.

And a second, just for shits and giggles ...

Because I just figured out how to post an embedded video ...

I just go smothered, covered and topped, but respect your game.

I would also like to add as 2nd - 11th place (for those of you ever drunk south of the Mason-Dixon line), anything from a Waffle House. That shit's legit.

There is not. But if you're ever drunk enough to be in, and awake in, Rochester, NY after midnight in your life - it's the goddamn elixir of life.

I lived in Chapel Hill for a few years, so fully appreciate your call, but only have five and a half words for you when it comes to ultimate drunk food satisfaction: Nick Tahoe's, Garbage Plate, Rochester, NY.

Goddamnit. Clearly I can't post a video. This is not working out.

Late Night Comedy Sketch DUAN:

The Koran